lorlei

things that happened
2002-09-27 08:05:24 (UTC)

:o i have how H pities me if i..

:o
i have how H pities me if i dont have something. He is
always talking about oh your pc could be so much better
blah blah and when i dont have something its like his
pity. And that is not what I want.
Here I sit listening to *his favorite band...smashing
pumpkins. When *him and I were together. We talked...it
was a relationship about need I think. It was natural. No
small talk, no embarrasment I just sat down and started
talking to him. I asked him questions *he told me the
answers. *He interacted with me. *HE DID NOT PITY ME. *He
understood me and we both had pain and disappointments.
*He himself told me to never pity him.

I hate when people pity me. I can't relate to them at all.
I like to cut myself off from H because that's all he
does. It makes him seem condescending.
*him and I no matter who we were we were equals. *he could
be homeless, a bum or whatever we would still be equal.
Because we could communicate intelligently together. I
dont care how *he is right now I would still bring *him home

H was telling me how 'monsters ball' was a movie that
reduced the characters to their raw basics...he said that
is too much to happen to one person. That's not life. I
somewhat disagreed and he asked me quickly if he thought
my life was like that. I said of course not even though I
believed otherwise.
He said what are the odds of people who both had losses
like that to find each other. And I told him they find
each other. He agreed.

And it make me wonder if he's had a sheletered life or
something.

Some people do have tragic lives and they never even see
the fruition of their dreams. Maybe living here in the US
might not bring that idea home because here what is the
worst that could happen to you?
If your dad makes almost a hundred grand a year and you
consider yourself poor :-/ umm.




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