Bloodstain Sun

The Book Of Counted Sorrows
2001-07-27 21:39:32 (UTC)

What the fuck?

Well, I`m depressed again.
Saw Jon Weaver lastnight, just as fine as he`s always been
I`m not suicidal, I guess that`s a good thing...
I don`t wanna do anything, just sit here and feel nothing.
Lastnight I actually really considered suicide, but only
because then I wouldn`t feel anything, no more pain because
you want someone you can`t have.-sigh-
Nothing matters to me right now, and I really mean nothing.
Even Curt... I love Travis, I mean.. he`s amazing Travis
and Angela Taylor -smirk- Sounds pretty good I think.
He said he wanted to marry me.
I blushed.
I have no will to do anything. No will to type,talk, be
with friends, chill, sleep, eat, drink, breath.. Yanno what
I mean? It hurts. But not like this mental pain that isn`t
really there, I can actually feel pain on the flesh around
and over my heart, it`s weird. It feels like a knife slowly
digging into flesh and it hurts...