the life of a not so perfect KT girl
2001-07-27 18:47:47 (UTC)

*TACO BELL SUXS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



There is like an emptiness to me .. U see I think it all
goes back to me looking for a guy to love me .. u see when
I was barely 14 I feel in love with a guy named Jason ..
and at the tender age of 14 I gave him everything I could
give him .. he treated me like crap but I still loved him
none the less .. I became sexually active at the age of 14
and I thought that would make me happy and full .. when all
it did is cause me heartache and pain .. I lost friends b/c
of it .. I lost all the trust I had ever had with my
parents b/c of it .. and yet I still did not care .. whenI
was not with him I felt like 3/4ths of me was gone .. u see
I put everything into this boy .. well I say bo but he was
much older than me .. like 10 years or something .. to
this day I am not sure of his real age b/c he lied to me
about it .. U see I could not continue to see him b/c of
the age thing .. but that did not stop me .. a few months
later right before I moved down here I saw him again .. he
has scared me for life and to him I owe all the pain I
have been put through .. SO once I moved here and I knew I
could never see him again I moved on .. it toke me a long
time and I am not fully recovered just yet .. more than a
year later .. SO I had a series of guys to feel the
emptiness and then I found Marc .. yeah the ex fienca (?)
well he cheated on me .. and I loved him regardless .. he
was 19 so once again i need something more to fill up my
emptiness and once again I gave in .. so after that Marc
and I became distant and then he went and got married this
febuary behind my back .. then resently there was Greg .. I
am not sure what I wanted with Greg .. I think it was the
preasure from him and Darcy and trey that made me give
in .. I regreat every one of these guys .. Why do i I keep
geting used and now I just expect it .. no one can say
anything nice to me with out me thinking they want
something .. I am not sure what I have done to deserve this
but it must have been really bad ..

OKay so on a lighter note !!!! NEVER EAT TACO BELL !!!! I
had it for lunch and I am so sick right now .. my stomach
hurts and I just don't feel good .. so say no to TACO
BELL ! I promise it is not worth it ! I dunno .. but I
have bitched enough today so I am out .. lates