illdai

dai's meaninglessness
2002-09-25 06:20:07 (UTC)

inertia's return

Inertia's Return [dai] 9/12/2002
And I pointed at the sky to hear an answer for a question I
had asked that way on some near by river, it finally came
the answer and the explanation to what had made the lungs
crumble and give away, death was evidently in the air, the
loss of all thought and grip on mater and illusion was gone
but that's not what it is anymore. The sky's gap between
the rivers and oceans of the world is great, it's not
earth, it's not a city or our simple bodies, it's the
marriage between heaven and hell, soar the in between
untouched and unseen because it's not real, it is in a way
but only as an analogy perhaps, a vision... a simple body
dream. But that's how reality would stand on that fact.
Questions answered, that's a good thing but eventually you
realize it wasn't what you wanted to hear... No, it wasn't
but you had already figured it out hadn't you, I had, I
have it was obvious. But now I'm left to fate, left to fate
like always on the dai's ehteral concept of simple physics
and life matters!

---------------------------

It is because it's death after inertia, it's the death of
something to give life to something new on the new
direction i'm headed to, but it's a circle! Inertia, force
of matter whn it comes into an abrupt stop, example rolling
metallic ball hits a wall and thus changes it's trajectory,
it's very simple it's nothing big. And this is how I see
myself a rolling metallic mentality heading towards this
life represented to me by a simple small cage that rattles
each time I come into full contact with it, it taunts me
visciously and without heart. So you have me who comes
across a life obstacle this situation changes me and
redefines me as a person by learning new things in either
account of thought or even physical strength, it all
depends on angry I was and how hard i pounded my fist
against a wall out of sheer simple fucking anger, but that
won't change much but how rough my skin will become, well
it works everywhere on this machine I've been given to
control. given resume of my life into a small little
article about myself and I learn to hate it because I
consider it a little egocentrical analysis of myself that's
biased by my love of my psyche and my little talents I know
of but don't exploit and that's it all stops there.

-------------

I don't know if I should be sad... when I think of my
evolution in life since I was six 'til I hit 19, I don't
exactly miss out on an obvious evolutionated path and
obstacles, it's been a 'dai' ever since what I knew what
death was, but it could've been different if I would've
known hope before death and its meaning, it's about
situation... it's about surroundings and assimilation but
I'll be questioned and even defied only because we're all
opinion able. I knew death... I knew pain, I knew respect,
hope, belief, morale, sadness, depression,
happiness, "love", sex, to miss, to lose, to... and so on
like everyone else. I cried here and there, would it be
strength proving I didn't need to cry or is it my cynical
way of saying, that's all I didn't care. Perhaps, yeah... I
didn't care from the beginning and that's why I can now
survive. Is it spite? It'll be mistaken by it, but I
might've thought of this before. Now I can be called a
fucking asshole.




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