illdai

dai's meaninglessness
2002-09-25 06:19:32 (UTC)

never said

Never Said 9/10/2002
when i wanted to be alone, i couldn't be and when i wanted
to be loved, held and clothed that wouldn't happen, but if
i wanted both at the same time would that put me at the
middle of something, maybe it'd be good degrading into a
shade of black the next day and then again, back to before
and that'd be all. it'd all be alright. irritable things.
howl at and howled on, i lost all inspiration now reduced
to the little daily things again... hat could i say? i
can't make it rhyme, i can't make it sound smart, i can't
pretend anymore not right now, i can't lie with words and
make it shine so to catch someone's eye, it's ironic that
most of what i say is a day to day basic thing just with
different words placed here and there almost in a form of
babble, incoherent and some think of it as beautiful, as
poetry. The simplicity's almost making me laugh now I'm
wondering if it's 'cos of these type of things I do that
I'm a fucking asshole.

------------

sought's of thought in mere sheer denial

frailty's might trial

greater scheme that sheds the fear

held back and none of those useless tears

now to think about the blood's corruption, the existence

it's beginning to madden me the essence

i'm blinded as i crawl into a bottle

trying to forget my own name, my past and my continuous
future before my life's subtle full throttle

now i just wonder if i made you laugh and if made you cry,
was it as good for you as it was for me? this is not a
rhyme it doesn't need to be anymore strain, stain lost of
thought what does it matter?! this ridiculous epitome of
things, these fucking ideas and these fucking things in my
mind it's fucking killing me i don't want to think, i need
blank, ne blank one day of pure nothing, sanity what is it
have i ever tasted it or have i been mad since day one...
what is it, these things. I'm just mad, angry name it
you'll have it, it's nothing, it's going to go away
eventually because I'm programmed like everyone else, I'm
no different me being short and overweight doesn't make me
any different from you now does it? Our essence's the same,
your thought revolve mainly on the same things with little
variables all made up by obsessions you give yourself so
you can live a pretty/horrid life. You choose, you choose,
you know, you know, you feel, you feel and i don't know
anymore.




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