Nick's Journal
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2002-09-25 04:08:21 (UTC)

Job Fair

I saw a midget today. this midget was on roller blades.
it was funny.
now on to the job fair. good god, jesus tap-dancing
christ. i fear my upcoming one. i fear that they'll
reject, me that i won't get any offers, and blah and blah
and blah.
i'm not good at small talk, and i hate any concept of
having to "appeal" to someone. i'm sure i'm not alone in
that manner, but i just loathe it. i hate to have to
prove myself to anyone, or in any way be evaluated. i get
to dress up in my little monkey suit for my ape
interviewers. i have to smile and say "well, i think the
cubs are doing great this year". it should be a fun day.
so i was just wondering about the subtle insecurities of
our everyday lives. it's actually quite amazing what you
pick up if you look at people. how subconciously they
betray their most "secretive" insecurities. i'm sure it's
pretty revolting to think that anyone should watch you so
closely as to decipher these things, but class is fucking boring.
this part is for joey.
It is ironically satiristic (i think that's what it's
supposed to be). as of late i've taken up the habit
of "saying nice things about people" (why the quotes?),
because very simply i don't think i mean them. in turn
these statements are ironically satiristic.
for example take this statement i made about a girl
walkign by us:
"i like the way she portrays the american spirit.....she
has the red, the white, the blue, and the fat ass."
embodies everything we love about our glorious nation.
but i don't think it really had a "sincerity", but i was
complimenting. for example, i commented on the local nerd:
"i like how he has the strength to keep himself from all
STDs by prohibiting all forms of sexual conduct."
i mean i'm being ironically nice, and i'm not so sure if
it's really a satire but it's close enough. so i've been
doing it lately, and i don't know it just seems kinda fun,
even more fun than making fun of people.
i guess i'm just softening with my old age.