The Real Deal

Reality
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2002-09-25 03:18:05 (UTC)

Lately

Ji and I are doing better... I dunno we had a long talk and we
cleared some stuff out, but I dunno... I feel uncomfy about
some things, but can't hold grudges... I just wish he worried
about me. He tells me I worry too much and he worries too
little. I want someone to care and worry about me. Cuz you
never know what might happen.

C and I talked more and he's so freaking hot. I am not going
to do anything about it because I have Ji and I don't want to
ruin what I have with Ji. I just wish I had a clone and we can
feel each other's emotions and my clone or myself would
separate to different people... me with Ji and clone with C
and I can feel how both feels. He's just hot.

We have a party tomorrow night and C might go as this hot
actor that I'm in love with... and the sad thing is if C dyes his
hair darker, they'd actually look alike! :::falls over::: I want Ji
more than anything, but I just want C for a little while...
damnit.

Ji and his lab partner, "Beverly", are working together on a
lab project and I trust him completely... the thing that's funny
is that I'm not jealous. Usually I'd be really sad about it, but I
don't feel anything. I just told him to work hard and call me
when he's done. I didn't feel jealous. I felt normal... which
makes me feel like I don't care anymore and that's not a good
thing.

Damnit. What to do? KG told me that C has a thing for me. I
don't think so because C is friendly to everyone and I think he
knows I have Ji. It's just sad. My sister said "what a waste"
when I told her I won't go for C, because C is a great catch.
But KG told me that he led his ex girlfriend on... but that
doesn't matter to me.
I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am
not going for C. I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I
am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am not going for
C. I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am not going
for C. I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am not
going for C. I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am
not going for C. I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I
am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am not going for
C. I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am not going
for C. I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am not
going for C. I am not going for C. I am not going for C. I am
not going for C. I am not going for C.
DAMNIT...
WHY CAN'T I BE A CLONE AT MY AGE!

I'm okay... I just want to see what happens, you know?
Maybe Ji and I will work and be happy and live happily ever
after. Maybe fate might do something to lead me to C... who
knows? I'm just going to live life as it is. If something
happens, it happens.

I just don't wanna regret.

--- This is meant for my easyjournal.com--
"YourAverageMe.easyjournal.com"


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