newport2002

a life of a boy
2001-07-27 01:37:01 (UTC)

why do i feel this way

ok today i start my dairy. i am so upset right now. i
really have so much on my mind. i wonder so much. i am 16
and me and my girl friend have been talking about having a
baby. i really want one. but than again my sister got
pregnat at 14. what would my mom say. my mom is another
topic. i hate her sometimes. she just hurt her kmee so it
is like the end of the world. i really get pissed at her. i
mean she runs back and tells my g-mom every thing we do to
her. i mean yea i do curse at her but i am hurting. i don't
really no why.
i am so angry that it is hard`for me not to flip at her. i
really can't stand her today. she works all the time so i
can never go out with my friends. i sit home all week and
it drives me nuts. i mean i live in the suburbs so i can't
walk any where. i wish my mom would understand. i don't
want people thinking i am a looser because i sit in all the
time. the only time i do anything is on the weekends. i
love my girl friend so much. but my love is hard for her
because of my mom. i have so much anger towards my mom
that it is hard for me to love.see my life story goes like this. my
mom is a single parant. when i was 8 years old my parants got
divorced. my dad had cheated on my mom with the neighbor who lived
down the street and who happend to be my mom best fiend. i feel bad
for my mom beasue she had lost every thing. my mom had lost her
dream. my mom's dream was to own a museium and when i was 7 she was
able to live that dream up. but when my mom and dad got divorced her
dream came to a end leaving her on welfare with 3 kids. now that must
of been hard from making $2000 a week to making a 100 a week. my dad
wasn't even goving her child suport.it just has been so hard for my
mom but that why do i feel so angry towrds her. i mean i feel bad for
her but i hate her soetimes. is it normal to curse at her and call
her names. i don't no. i wish i could change. i just can't

got to go i will finish later