adyinsc

ramblings of this hopeless romantic
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2002-09-24 22:22:33 (UTC)

Goodness. . .I definitely need something else to talk about. . .

hello all. this whole thing about barret is getting VERY
depressing and aggrivating. i mean. . he doesn't exactly
ignore me but he doesn't seek me out and talk to me
either. well, enough of my non-existant love life (for the
moment).

all this crap i have to do here is really getting
annoying. . .the neverending deadlines (AP Chem), teachers
who can't get my name right, REHEARSALS, extra music
classes, REHEARSALS. . .the list goes on and on. goodness,
i can't even get more than a few hours of sleep before i
have to get up and go back to class and the cycle goes on
and on. . then there's the whole thing about barret and my
non-existent love life. . geez i have no life. but i like
the way my precal teacher put it: "You [govies] don't have
a life, but you're talented. Kids at the high schools i
taught at had no life AND they weren't talented."


i think i know the reason why barret acts towards me the
way he does--i'm always around this other guy all the time
and we look like we're into each other and we're dating.
hell no. . this other guy [jonathan] is like a brother to
me. he even calls me 'manang' cuz i'm older than him
(we're both filipino and in our culture itz proper to call
someone your age but older either 'manang/manong/ate/kuya')
lots of ppl already think that we are dating. . but we're
not. we're too much like bother and sister. i always
complain about barret to him and stuff.

now for the daily bitching: I HATE HATE HATE HATE AP
CHEM!!! ALL IT IS IS A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIT THAT I HAVE TO
DO AND GET IT FAXED TO SOMEONE I'VE NEVER MET ON THE OTHER
SIDE OF THE COUNTRY. WHY THE HELL DID I EVEN CONSIDER
COMING TO THIS SCHOOL???? I'M ALWAYS STRESSED AND MY
SUITEMATE HATES ME AND PROBABLY MOST OF THE SCHOOL DOES
TOO AND I'M TOO DAMN OBLIVIOUS OF EVERYTHING TO NOTICE.
AND WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH GETTING SOME SLEEP ONCE IN
A WHILE???? GOD IF THERE WERE MORE HOURS IN THE DAY I
WOULD BE SOOOOOO MUCH HAPPIER AND NOT STRESSED. . GOD MY
LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW. . .AND I AM NOT THE WORST THING TO
LOOK AT!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY APPEARANCE???
AM I THAT UGLY??? GOD AND SOME GUYS CAN'T EVEN TELL ME
THAT THEY'RE GAY TO MY FACE!!! WHAT THE HELL??? AND SOME
GUYS CAN'T EVEN TELL ME THAT THEY DON'T LIKE ME!!!!

and back to the real world. . or at least my little world
where everything is calm and me and barret are
together. . .which will never EVER happen. me and abby
were talking about ppl from home--then prom came up. .
we're both prolly going alone. . and i am soooo gonna ask
for contacts just for prom. i mean. . wearing my glasses
at prom just isn't the best thing. . .i did that 2 years
ago at my old high school's prom and i looked ridiculous.
well. . .enough of my boring life for today. . .hopefully
tomorrow will be more interesting. . .we'll see. . .


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