DayDream Believer
2002-09-24 18:10:57 (UTC)

Amalie Skram

Indeed, cant say that Im over it, its more like Im in the
middle of something. Lets say it like this; beeing 18 with
my background and learning about Amalie Skram in class is
not the best thing somethimes. Guess you`re all verry
comfused right now right? Well, thatd how I`ve been feeling
for the last three weeks!

First of all: who is Amalie Skram?
Amalie Skram was an Norwegian author who liked to
investergate the relationship between inheritance and
sorroundings. She had this theory that your problems in
life dont depend on you, but on what your realatives did
before you, in the past, got it?

What does Amalie Skram has to do with me?
Well, I was in this dark period agen, and learning about
Amalie Skram did not exactly help. It made me think?
Witch of my problems comes of me beeing me and witch one
has to do with my sorroundings?
I was really scared as a child, can it have somethin to do
with how my whole life changed?
I was living with my parents and grand parents when I was a
baby, I guess they gave me a lot of attention right? I mean
four people instead of 2 like its usaly!! Then I got a
little sister, Karoline, I war two and she was just a baby,
I guess I lost a lot of attention then. And then we moved
into our own house, only two grown ups instead of four. And
when I was seven Grace was born, she gets /take all the
attention in the family. Dont missunderstand me, Im glad
for Karoline and Grace about the attention, not jalux, but
it must have been a hard change for such a small child

Then my father, I used to be scared him, juess I kinda
still am, and the we have his drinking problem. I dunno how
much it has affected me, but I would like to know, so thats
something I`ve been thinking a lot about.

Of course we have Selina, she was like an answer to my
prays, and losing her was hard for me, but I was depresed
long before I meet Selina I think. I was scared of allmost
anything as a child, but I didnt let anyone know that, I
keept it my secret.
Was it because the setting was right or was it because it
was Selina?
Selina, deffinatly, or the same thing would have happend
with Samuel, but say it was my father, no, I would naver
look up to him as if was some sort of saint. I guess I was
really wonreble, I was 14, had the AJ thing hanging over me
and life wassnt a game for me.

So who am I?
What made me to me me? What am I shaped from, why am I so
sensible and the others in my family unsenseble?
I havent got any answers yet. But Amalike Skram sure got me
thinking 100 yeas afther her death, guess shes one of teh
good ones then.


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