2002-09-24 05:22:51 (UTC)


sigh so.
broke down tonight with jessie.
god that woman is so good to me. i dont get it. but i love
her for it. so fucking much man.


i decided tonight how much more chill i could be if i
would just sit down and smoke some fucking weed once in
awhile. like...once every hour. half hour. whatever.


and then i considered it for a period of time.
and decided then that...
i would just get drunk instead

because ONE kind of mind altering substance is better than
another simply because ONE is legal and one is not.



offspring is good for your soul sometimes. like tonight.

yawn im fucking tired.

i got called into work today. it sucked.

five days working in a row.

fuck the mushroom yes.

it wouldnt let me post last night and it made me mad
its like my thing i do before i sleep and it was

now i dont know if i can remember what i even did.

oh. studied. yup.
for the massive huge horrible test that i had today.
which hopefully went okay. i hopehopehope.
i studied with sarah, shes so hot its crazy. and shes cool
too. but yeah. really...crazy. in a not so hot kind of way
lol. besides shes little. i dont dig little girls. marcy
called and i went and met her. i was so over serial
murders and rape at that point anyway. shes a cool girl.
we talked for awhile. it was so busy at dennys goodness it
was crazy. and then i went home and tried to sleep. which
was pointless. i rolled around for over a fucking hour.
turned upside down and everything. my back is really
fucked up, and i know you dont want to know about it baby,
but yeah. its so bad recently. im sorry if you read this.
i finally ended up falling asleep...finally. ugh. and yeah
slept for like...less than four hours. got up to study
more. and then went to school and did all that bullshit
then got called into work then went and did homework and
had a pretty severe panic attack with jessie sitting
across from me with a concerned look on her face for hours.


such a fantastic productive life i lead.

and now its time for bed. so that i can wake up and
basically the exact same thing tomorrow.


and you know what

i learned today is psych that you CAN alter your mood. its
proven. its a fucking fact. so yeah. if you see me smiling
all crazy psycho lookinglike know that at least im fucking
trying man.