I'm a girl, not a band!!!
Sometimes I hear things that just hit home for me. I was
watching TV tonight and a character on a show said
something that I just can't get out of my head. "The truth
only works if you have nothing to hide." Wow. How true is
Okay, well, I'm gonna admit something. I'm VERY not proud
of this at all, but for the last couple of months I've
been working on getting out of my habit of it. Now, after
you read what I'm about to write, the whole sentence that
I just wrote before this one, well, it is true. Wether you
believe it or not. I am a very good liar. Not perfect by
any means, but it was something that I did. Even if I had
nothing to hide. I think I did it because it made me look
better to people. Ok, made me look better to myself. I've
lost a lot of good friends because of it. Fortunately they
are forgiving and understanding. And I am extraordinarily
lucky in that effect.
But the quote hits home. Everyone has something to hide.
EVERYONE. It could be very big, or very small. From abuse
to murder to the date of your birthday to how much you
weigh. Just things that nobody knows, and nobody will know
for as long as you are living. We probably have multiple
things that we hide.
I hide a lot. What am I afraid of? I don't know exactly.
But I came to a point where there were too many lies to
keep track of. And if I just tell somebody, at least they
can't accuse me of not being honest.
I am not lying now. Though that might be hard to believe
after you've read all this. And as I read through my
journal I see that this is the one place that I haven't
lied. Hmmmmm. Didn't notice that until tonight when I
reread all my entries.
Maybe there's hope for me yet.