xXx Life As Becoming a Lesbian xXx
2002-09-24 03:20:57 (UTC)

Don't Want What I Can Have

Everytime I start dating a guy I always end up pushing them
away. In the beginning it seems like I like them but then
just one thing goes wrong and I dont like them anymore. In
the past 6 months I have dated many guys and got rid of
them within a week or two. I dont mean to be like this but
everytime a guy really likes me I end up hurting their
feelings by breaking it off. I think they get too attached
or something... I dont like it when guys are so clinging.
I hate it when they want to be around me 24/7 and call me
all the time. It's like "GIVE ME SPACE!" I guess I need
to quit being so picky on whop I go out with, but it seems
like nobody is as good as Nathanel is. I can't stop
comparing on how he was and how he treated me (which he
treated me like a princess). Everything Nathanael did for
me was so perfect. I seen him yesterday, I couldnt look at
him. I miss him so much... I love him so much. If he
would just give me one more chance I would prove to him
that I am a changed person and I would show him how much I
love and appreciate him and that I would never do anything
to hurt him again. My friends keep trying to hook me up
with other guys but I really dont want to go out with
them. I guess I might try to date one here in a couple
days... whos knows maybe he could be just as good as
Nathanael... but I doubt that.

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