The Story of Me
2001-07-26 18:50:44 (UTC)

Just one of those days

It's been one of those days. A day where you really don't
want to do anything, but you force yourself to anyway. Like
today I did not want to go running, but I did. And i think
I died on the track. Oh well, it will be better soon.
That's my new mantra.

I had a talk with my friend last night about being fake.
You know how some people just expect you to act a certain
way, even if it isn't how you would like to act. You act
like someone that isn't really you. I really don't know how
to word it. I guess it's something like you change your
personality when you are around certain people, and the
people you are with expect you to be that way all the time,
and if you aren't, it's a whole different experience.

People are very complex creatures. We have many sides to
us. Some sides you only show to certain people. And I don't
think that any one person will ever see all of the sides to
someone. I have a lot of sides, I'm a very complex person.
My mood can change a million times in one day. All
depending on what I feel, what is going through my whacked
out brain at the moment. But I try to keep focused on the
positive. That's all anyone can do.

Anyway...I'm off the topic. So, why is it that we feel the
need to act a certain way around some people? I try not to
be fake. I try to be completely real all of the time. But
of course we all have our bouts where we smile and look
happy for the sake of the croud. Everyone does that I
think. I'm not sure yet if that is a good idea. Isn't that
sort of like repressing your feelings? I'm not sure.

Anyway, I'm in the middle of chatting with my friend, and
he's asking me about my run today, so I will continue this