My Heart and Soul....
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2002-09-24 01:33:54 (UTC)

Having A better day...

Well...needless you say, today, and the last couple of days
have been better. I've been in a better mood. You know how I
get. I think I should appologize to everyone for flipping
out the way I did the other day. I was in a terrible mood.
Somedays it just seems like nothing is going my way. But
then...dayd like today...I just don't even know. Started out
great, cause I found out I made swing choir, which ROCKS,
because it is so much fun, and I love it, AND only 3
Sopranos out of like 18 made it...SO go me! Then...I did
supre great on a psycho test that I totally forgot about
until I got to class. The teach told me a had a nack for
this sort of thing. (Maybe that's why I like it so much...)
Hmm...then what...??? International Law...the teach told me
that I had the heart of someone who was truly into the
subject area, and that if I stuck with it I would definately
go places. That makes me happier than you can imagine,
because this class is EXACTLY what I want to do with my
life. Working overseas for the UN or an Embassy promoting
Human Rights, and working toward peace. So that just made my
day. Then I had Spanish club, and found out that I am going
to get to go not only on a 3 week exchange to Costa Rica,
but I am also eligible to attend the BIMUN (Model UN) trip
to Mexico city.

After school a whole bunch of us went to the soccer game. We
lost, but it's cool. Let me just say that I love my friends.
And people whom I've hardly spoke to all my life are SO
great to hang out with, and it's totally fun to just have a
good time and let loose. I think that I've always tried so
hard to act more mature, and fit in with the older crowd.
Turns out the people my age are way cool. Huh! Who would
have thought. (Sarcasm noted and appreciated.)

But really....I'm not trying to be smart ass. I think it is
only by the grace of My Lord that things have worked out the
way the have. My perspective on life, as well as the way I
am living is SO different from what I would have thought it
would be. But different in a good way. Because I'm happy.
You know what. I really am too. How cool is that? I mean,
I've been happier, but I think that I've based to much of my
happiness on having a man in my life. Sure, I've had some
pretty awesome guys in my life, that made me feel pretty
damn special...but so what?! Who's to say that I can't be
happy on my own. And, I can tell myself what I tell my
friends. I think of that one guy who was just SO great, and
realize that if HE'S not the one that God has picked out for
me, how great must THAT guy be?? Then things don't look so
bad. Also, I've tried to immerse myself in some spiritual
books...and this has helped me to understand that everything
happens for a reason. So...I know things will work out. My
biggest chore is now going to be maintaining that mind set
when things get rocky. So I hope that I can do that with a
little help from the people who love me, and a LOT of help
from my Lord, Jesus Christ.

I love you all....and again, I'm sorry I was in a bad mood.
It happens to the best of us, no? :-P

With Love always,
God Bless,


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