camicazy

deeper trench

i've never longed for music as much as i long for it now.

feel like crying. been thinking...yet i don't know what to
think.

i was made a fool.

---

i've realized that i come up with all sorts of criticisms
for good looking people because i envy them. i'm skeptical
of them because i don't have what they do.

the trench deepens. i'm so bloody shallow. i drive myself
to tears simply because i look at the mirror and don't like
what i see. how pathetic is that?

i'm a bit fed up with people's bullshit. if you have
nothing true to say to me then just keep your fucking mouth
shut.

---

had a dream last night. a group of us was to give a
presentation in a huge theatre.

the lights were dimmed. creepy music came out. dark lights
came out and rested on me and my other group mates. i
started to walk along the aisles of the theatre. walked
through this row, that row, and another row. kept walking.
went backstage. then grabbed ahold of another person and
ran out very quickly, down the aisles, onto the rows.

ran and ran...but our legs weren't moving. it felt like we
were riding on something that were zooming us around. the
music continued to play and i never let go of the person in
front of me.

he ran and i screamed for him to slow down but he didn't.
zoomed in. then he rushed through a door where millions of
people came out.

dark blue goo rushed at him from the door. he was caught
off guard and accidentally breathed in the goo. he
collapsed face down. the goo kept spilling from the door,
flowing down onto the floor. i held his face up to try to
stop him from drowning. the music played.

i held his face up as the goo continued to gush. after a
while he stopped choking and lay still. breathless.
lifeless.