The many thoughts of Ann
2001-07-26 05:40:46 (UTC)

# 1

July 25th 2001

Well this is the first entry so i guess i should have lots
to say. lets see...
i just got back from ski camp in oregon which was a lot of
fun. it was my second time going and i think i had more fun
this year. mostly becuz i only liked one guy unlike last
year which made it rather difficult for me. but anywho,
this year i only liked one guy... named Jeff, he is from
wasconsin which sucks cuz i might not ever see him again :(
i hope i do becuz. i think i fell in love with him. he is a
year older than me. he is so unbelievalby cutE AND SWEET
AND FUNNY omg i could go on forever. i miss him already
and i have been away from him only for like 5 days. but
when u think about it i saw him everyday for 2 weeks so i
guess 5 days is alot then. aw well. the thing is i think he
had or has a girlfriend. cuz at the beginnin i didn;t think
we would hook up since he had a girlfriend for like 7
months and said he wouldn;t do anything. however i guess he
forgot about that since i spent every moment with him
possible cuddling and holding hands and sometimes kissin
and even sometimes with his hand up my shirt! which brings
me to another topic. this guy rob at the camp really wanted
me but that doesn't say much cuz he pretty much wanted
every girl there. but anyway i was sitting on the couch
with him and he started rubbing my back and shit and trying
to feel me up but i keep my arms tight against my side as
to not allow him to touch my boobs. and i felt as though i
was trapped becuz it would be rude to just sit up... lol
stupid me so i just kinda sat there and hoped for the
best . of course i was feelin very akward since this was
the first time i had ever had this happen to me and i
didn;t even like the guy. but when jeff did it and i didn't
feel close to akward infact his tender touch felt loving
and i felt so happy and in heaven with him, thats when i
knew that this guy could do anything with me and i would
not mind cuz i could feel that he loved me and i loved him.
this was the guy i had be searching for ... the guy of my
dreams. the only problem is that 2 weeks soon ended without
even a french kiss, but ya know that doesn;t bother me too
much since his sweet genlte kisses were enough for me! i
might have died of intensity with a french kiss. well maybe
i am exagerating a bit. but man i remember our first kiss,
it was in the wax room. he just kind of grabbed me while i
was talkin lol and we did it. it was so great . i could
have died with happiness. i dont know how i survived
without tellin anyone about it. i mean i didn;t want to go
tellin everyone OMG i kissed him. i just didn;t think he
would like that and i didn;t really feel like tellin anyone
there anyways. i wasn't close enough to anyone there to
share details like this. so i held it in. i think it was
probally for the best, but ya see it all started at the
beach. jeff said ya wanna go to the beach and i said sure.
so we ended up at this isolated part of the beach away from
the rest of the camp and we talked about stuff for about 3
and a half hours. it was insane. and of course when a guy
and a girl disapear for that long u know wut ppl r gonna
think. so yes we put up with a bunch of shit when we got
back but hey it all worked out. by the last night of the
beach i was holding the man of my dreams hand. it worked
out great for me which meant about a 2 or 3 hour cuddle on
the bus ride home which i had NO problem with at all. now
we talk on aol and stuff but i really would like to see
him. of course it wont happen since i live in canada and
shit.and i will hopefully get over him becuz i will have a
hard year if i dont and plus i bet anything that he has
already been with his girlfriend as if there was nothin
between him and me! which makes me real sad but hey what
can ya do.! i love him anyways and i wish there were alot
more guys like him. becuz so far he has met all of my
standards and it will be hard for me to find another
boyfriend that perfect and i an gonna have to or i will be
thinkin man jeff was so much better than this guy and that
is just not good so hopefully there is some guy better than
jeff out there. cuz i dont want to have to settle for
anyone lower. so to end this i just want to say JEFF i
really like u and i just hope u dont forget me and the good
times we had together since i think ur a great person and i
love ya so much!!!!!!!! i would choose u over ANYONE
anyime. just u remember that! MWA! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo