i am so confused.
i don't know what to do.
i don't want her, i don't want her money, but somehow i
need her, i need what she should represent. and it hurts a
lot to know that i will never have that. i hurt. perhaps i
should just take the money and put it into a suicide fund
or something. i really dont think i can keep on going for
this pain is too much. it's excrutiating. it's eating me
away. i'm not sure i can continue with this tired