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2002-09-21 15:04:13 (UTC)

If I ever leave this world alive

Everything has gone to hell. I need new meds. Something to
mellow me out so I don't get stressed as much. But it's
kinda hard when all your friends live in Derry and have
lost touch with you for the better; your parents keep
urging you to move out of the house everyday; school is
full of morons and you're by yourself 24-7 and work too
much and yet still have no fucking money!

My OCD and TS are getting worse aswell. And to top that
off I found out last night that Mike McQuade
a kid I use to hang out with in 5th/6th grade died of
cancer a few weeks ago. With Jimmy in Haverhill I never get
to see him anymore unless someone drives me down there. but
I'm not going to force anyone into driving me to fucking
haverhill just so I can see some fat kid.

Lets do the list:
1. I'm always by myself.
2. I'm too stressed.
3. I'm doing bad in school.
4. My best friend is gone.
5. My ADHD, ODD, OCD and TS get worse when I'm stressed.
6. I'm not on any drugs
7. I don't see Dr. V as much as I use too.
8. My Friends seem to have the sick compultion to call
me Minsky reguardless to how much they know it offends
me. My name may legally be Minsky but I'm not Jewish or
Russian. I'm English and Irish. And I really don't like
having this as a reminder that I was adopted.
9. I've been kicked out of The Minsky family and not being
given any child support and they won't sign the papers
allowing me to change my name to my fathers for some
fucking sick reason.
10. My Father's dead.
11. I never see my Aunt or Uncle who helped raise me
12. Walt's dead.
13. Mick's Gone.
14. I can't find a girlfriend who fits me.
15. ex-girlfriends are headaches
16. I'm on probation at work.
17. My mother's losing it.
18. I'm being told I need to move out soon every day
19. I have no cash.
20. I have no car.
21. I think I'm dying.

thank you for reading

brian wheeler " boney "

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