sweetaddiction

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2002-09-21 03:36:03 (UTC)

i grew up well, well i grew up strong, cuz noones got my back, noones guna write me love songs

i honestly dont know why i even check my email anymore.
i never have mail. and i still check it incesently. every
time i get on. first thing. anyway.

"ive been tired for daaaayyysss and daaayyysss..."

i gave up long before you came

she says

i grew up well, well i grew up strong, cuz noones got my
back, noones guna write me love songs

it could have been a month or it could have been a year
but i gave up long before

cuz ive been tired for days and days and days

i really like this song. a lot. its good. really good.

i spent 4 hours at dennys studying tonight.
four of them.

im tired. and my head is a big fuzzy mess.

i miss emily.
but i guess this is what letting go or whatever is
supposed to be like.
who knows. i dont.
i just never talk to her anymore. i mean. we talk. yes.
but its not...of substance really i suppose.
she sounds happy for the most part when i hear her voice
though. thats some sort of consolation.
i just miss knowing about her life. i mean. shes the
person i used to talk to the most. that knew the most
about me. and i felt like i knew a lot about her too.
and now its just. not like that.
and i guess its a good thing. im trying not to view at is as a
bad thing.

i just miss her.

i suppose thats natural.
but im over thinking about it.

i bought camels tonight.
shorts.

cheaper. im saving money. attempting to anyway.
well see how that goes.

i really need to work on this scholarship thing.
i need to make an appointment.

i have a planner.
its the best thing ever.

makes me feel less scattered.

i should sleep but i dont want to.
i dont want to be here i dont want to be anywhere.

i want to...go sit on her steps.

i feel like i havent been home in forever. and im at my
house.
unhealthy.

me. a whole lot. i think that word is probably the best
for describing me.

what kind of person is happiest when they're unhealthy...?
i wonder what that says about me...

who fucking knows or cares.

i guess studying the mind patterns of serial killers and
rapists all night is getting to me.

yeah.


that must be it.

sure ashley.


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