sdml2024

MY NEW LIFE CHOICE
2002-09-21 02:37:05 (UTC)

i havent been on so i have slacked till today

hello world!
today has been a pretty good day although its storming
right now..i am so very tired right now but for some
damn reason i cant seem to go to sleep i lay down
and try to close my eyes but i just cant seem to get my
eyes to stay closed.. why me ? i could sleep right now
but as my luck would have it .. i am not able to go to
sleep...
well, today i have been kind of down .. i know i
have no real reason to , but i am ... i have just
realized that i wont be able to see paul this weekend
and well next weekend hes spending it with lisa , and
thats ok cause its her birthday .. then the next weekend
her dad is comming in from where ever it is he lives
nevada i think .. then the weekend after that is the
weekend we are suppose to go down there for zak's
birthday party...so there is the next 3 weekends .. i
know i can handle this but its so hard!!! i just want
to be alone with paul for a while .. there is so much we
have to do/say in person .. i just need to be held by
him again soon very soon!! i know that he feels the same
way .. its just really hard to do right now.. so this i
understand...for the last 2 weeks we have talked about so
much stuff.. i feel like i have known paul all my
life .. he has his soul mate already, but what am i? we
have this connection that is unreal i already at times
know his thoughts..there is that type of connection betwen
us..i never knew that being a sub would be so hard to
do, but damnit i am going to do it.. i want this so
badddd..i love it when paul calls me his goddess.. it
makes me feel so damn special.. all i can say is that
lisa is a great woman to share paul with me..i love the
fact that paul is my dom.. i think he truely knows what
it means.. well i know he does after hearing him.. i am
so lucky to have had him to want me to be his
sub..therefore i am going to do my best at being his sub
and being whatever he wants, needs, and desires...i am
totaly committed to PAUL my Sir ...
i got to talk to paul and lisa tonight on the phone
they were getting storms too , paul was tired so at 7:30
he was in the bed.. i worry about him so very much ( i
know my grandmother guardian angel is watching over him)i
hope he gets lots of sleep tonight .. i know i wont be !
i talked to lisa's dad tonight .. hes such a sweety ..
guess thats where lisa gets it from .. well jopurnal i am
going to sign off for tonight .. maybe go into a room
and see whats going on there.. naw i aint gonna do
that ,, i no longer have the desire to go into the
rooms.. yes i just said i have no desires to go into
the chat rooms.. i told you i have it bad !.. ok good
night all! LET'S ROLL WORLD!




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