daily dosage
2001-07-25 20:56:38 (UTC)

pissed n moody

ugh im so mad at everything!!
today has been such a stupid day 4 me.
i hate myself and everything about me more then i ever did
[[and thats alot of hate right thea]]
im not happy with my house
ugh just everything!!
i know lots of ppl hate themselvez and all those things
too..but i just HATE it so much i feel like moving to like
japan or sumthing lol
and i feel really bad cuz i was suppose to go with my
friend to get his haircut and i told him i would go with
him and [[finally]] get my hair cut to0.i went outside
after like going nutz in my house lookin for the right
thing to wear..then i walked about a block up and i felt
drizzle aka rain of course.i wuz gunna get my hair str8ned
so i didnt want to get it dun then mess it up in this mom said it wuz suppose to rain too..but so far
its not pooring damnit! now he probably thinkz i wuz jus
making an excuse to get out of going with him..but i
seriously waznt=./
my ma asked me jus now to go out wit her shoppin cuz im
gettin pale frum staying home the whole day..but im really
not in the mood....i decided if i wana loose wait theres
only one way..and thats not to eat or BARLEY eat..
cuz if i eat smaller amounts of food..that never helpz
me..i keep doing excercise that never helpz me..
so if i dont eat at all it should help.
its very hard not to not eat at all .
but its gunna be the chance i have to take.
i know the consequences of not eating of course im not that
stupid now..but im gunna do it until i am happy with my
when im hungry ill jus eat like a carrot or sumthing
healthy.and only drink water.ah this is gunna be so hard
but im makin a promise right now that im gunna do this..
ill keep uz updated on how this lil promise of mine is