LushuzLau

daily dosage
2001-07-25 20:56:38 (UTC)

pissed n moody

ugh im so mad at everything!!
today has been such a stupid day 4 me.
i hate myself and everything about me more then i ever did
[[and thats alot of hate right thea]]
im not happy with my lookz..my body..my weight..my
height..my hair..my clothez..my house
ugh just everything!!
i know lots of ppl hate themselvez and all those things
too..but i just HATE it so much i feel like moving to like
japan or sumthing lol
and i feel really bad cuz i was suppose to go with my
friend to get his haircut and i told him i would go with
him and [[finally]] get my hair cut to0.i went outside
after like going nutz in my house lookin for the right
thing to wear..then i walked about a block up and i felt
drizzle aka rain of course.i wuz gunna get my hair str8ned
so i didnt want to get it dun then mess it up in this
weather..my mom said it wuz suppose to rain too..but so far
its not pooring damnit! now he probably thinkz i wuz jus
making an excuse to get out of going with him..but i
seriously waznt=./
my ma asked me jus now to go out wit her shoppin cuz im
gettin pale frum staying home the whole day..but im really
not in the mood....i decided if i wana loose wait theres
only one way..and thats not to eat or BARLEY eat..
cuz if i eat smaller amounts of food..that never helpz
me..i keep doing excercise that never helpz me..
so if i dont eat at all it should help.
its very hard not to not eat at all .
but its gunna be the chance i have to take.
i know the consequences of not eating of course im not that
stupid now..but im gunna do it until i am happy with my
weight!!
when im hungry ill jus eat like a carrot or sumthing
healthy.and only drink water.ah this is gunna be so hard
but im makin a promise right now that im gunna do this..
ill keep uz updated on how this lil promise of mine is
working..

holla