Blaine

broken wings
2002-09-20 21:23:21 (UTC)

I'm sick of smiling

AHHH, No one understands ANYTHING, ever. I’m not even going
to try to confide in ppl anymore. I doesn’t do any good at
all. What the hell is it going to accomplish, except for
maybe 2 seconds of relief. Then realize that they don’t
understand a word of what you just said, or the
significance. Then they will probably go tell ppl their
version of what you said, then eventually 100’s of ppl will
know. You know what really sucks about that, they don’t
know. Nobody knows. It’s fucking crazy to open up to ppl
you only end up getting burned. I was watching this movie
and it had some pre-view for another movie. Well, in the
preview it said: “What does your therapist say about all
this?” then the girl replies: “I could never tell my
therapist, It’s private.” I just thought that was great.

I'm sick of smiling
And so is my jaw
Can't you see my frown is dropped way down
I'm sick of being someone I'm not
Please get me out of this slump
I'm sick of clapping
When I know I can do it better for myself
I'm sick of waiting
Sick of all these words that will never matter

I don’t care what you all say, that is a great song.

Anyways, today in history my teacher was talking about
history and why it’s important. He said that in order to
understand some one you need to know their history,
heritage, past, and whatever. Well I never thought of it
that way. I’m the one who is always interested in finding
out why people are the way they are. What happened to them
that shaped who they are. Well the history of their country
really has a lot to do with it. He made me interested in
History. I don’t know exactly what it was that made me
change my thinking, but he gave an example from when he was
like 7. Well I seriously teared up listening to him tell
this story. I don’t have much time to type it all out but,
maybe I will when I get back. By the by, I’m going off to
my dad’s this weekend. Nobody understands that whole thing
either. Ahhh. Why can’t there be one person out there that
understands. I seriously would rather have one true friend,
then all these damn acquaintances. I could care less about
quantity, quality is SERIOUSLY, way better. Well I have to
go pack now. I’ll write when I get back. I know I haven’t
written in a long time.




Ad: