the life of me
Ad 0:
2002-09-20 03:14:59 (UTC)

September 19, 2002

today was our school picnic. we went to this park about 20
minutes from my school. it was a lot of fun. i spent a lot
of time w/ my friends, which was awesome. instead of buying
food from the school, we all brought sandwhich stuff and
chips, and all that and ate on our blanket. it was a lot of
fun. we had an awesome time!!! after the picnic, though,
cody and i sat in the back of my truck and talked for a
long time. it was really awesome. we really got into it.
like... it was so intense taht he started to cry. i
couldn't believe it. i wasn't sure what to do. he was
talking about this summer and how he liked our friend
whitney, but she didn't like him... and he was so
devistated by the fact that he "screwed up" as he put it.
see... cody's a hopeless perfectionist... so everything, to
him, that doesn't go his way... is a failure. and he's to
blame for it (in his eyes). so he was sure that when
whitney turned him down, it was because there was something
wrong with him. i told him he was a great guy and that it
wasn't him... but he didn't seem to believe me. he's been
really depressed lately. i don't know what to do. and i'm
so upset that i saw him so upset. i mean, i can't even
believe that he CRIED! ya know? so ya... it's hard. but i'm
glad i got the chance to talk to him today. it was a lot of
fun and i really needed to have time w/ just us... things
are getting interesting still. we're not anywhere near to
going out. and i'm still not sure if he even likes me. but
when he put his head on my shoulder today... all i know is,
i felt amazingly close to him. and all i wanted was for him
to leave his head there forever. he did it twice. i know it
doesn't seem like anything... but it was definitly
something to me. so that's what's going on here. i'll talk
to you later. bye!

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