SkiZ0FreNiK

Behind the Broken Windows
2002-09-20 01:39:05 (UTC)

Juthappy555

I really shouldn't be writing this, I have a rough draft
personal narritive due for English tommorow morning, and it
isn't going to get any easier to write. I have to go to bed
in less then 40 minutes, so I guess I'll be writing that
tommorow huh? I read Sammy's journal just now, today and
yesterday he wrote entries, the first in a few weeks. Both
were about the same thing, Alissa(I always thought it was
Alyssa, but I guess he would know). He writes almost the
same thing I used to write. It's almost word-for-word. He
talks about how he feels that his friendship with her could
go so much further, and he talks about the invisible line.
The invisible line is that horrid wall you feel when you
really want to hold someone, and touch them, but you can't
because you aren't in that close of a relationship. It
sucks, it sucks a lot. He does have one thing that I didn't
though, although it's as bad as it is good. Alissa doesn't
want to have any relationship right now, with anyone. I can
tell you that there is little in this world that hurts more
than seeing a loved one in someone else's arms. It hurts
even more when you know that that guy is using her, hurting
her, but there's nothing you can do. Those things lead to
huge fights, rivalries, and downright hatred.
I have so much I want to write tonight, but I can't. I'm
utterly exhausted, school, work, and social life is taking
a lot out of me. I don't have the mental capability right
now to deal with all of it I don't have that long to pull
myself together either. I think I'm going to take a long
hot bath tonight, I'm sure you all wanted to know that. I
bought a blowgun tonight, I was so happy, weapons yay! Wow,
I feel like Garrett. Is that bad? Yes, yes it is. I have
something to get the me in the bath image out of your
heads. According to a survey in "Teenage Sexuality," my
partner is unsatisfied with our sex life. *Suddenly, 5,000
strangers shuddered simotaneously* How much faith do I put
in surveys? None. I don't belive in statistics. If an
average of 1 out of ever 100 people have such-and-such,
doesn't that figure only apply to 100 people? How can you
just assume that everyone in the world can be catagorized
with that statistic? Fuck averages.
I base my relationships(all three of 'em) on an honr
system. Basically, if something's bothering you, let me
know, as I am very dense toward most people. With some
people, (you know who you are) I know exactly how to make
you happy and/or sad. After years of study, I can now
manipulate your emotions. Booya. Actually, I just try
different shit until something works. Whatever.

Stay Tuned,
Gio.

P.S. I can sum up this entire entry with one
word "nevermind."




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