of little importance
Ad 2:
2002-09-20 00:05:22 (UTC)

things i need to say

i am not in love with you anymore. but i still love you. i am so
lonely. i long for what we had. but i know i will not have that with
you again. and i want to let go. but i don't know how.

i still need you. i hate that. i hate that i cannot be
independent. and you know how much i need my independence. it's not
that i don't want you around. i do. believe me, i do. it's just...

it's not so much that i don't know how to let you go. and it's not
so much that i can't. it's that, well, i won't. i guess i'm too
scared of being alone.

i told you once that i'd never let you go. something changed, the
situation is different now. i won't let you go as a friend, but i
need to let you go. and i'm sure that didn't make any sense
whatsoever. it made sense in my head, and it's my diary, so that's
all that matters.

i hate feeling like this. i'm so torn apart right now...between
everything. i wish i knew what i wanted. i take that back. i wish
i was ready for what i want. i'm not yet. and the only way of being
that way is letting you go.

and for some reason, i still won't.

torn between myself
rip me apart
cut at the seams
hold out my heart