starrynite1226

Lots to think about...

Have you ever just had so many things going on in your
head, but you don't even want to take the time or effort to
even try to sort them out. Maninly because more thinking
will send your brain into overdrive, and you might blow a
fuse? haha...

Right now I'm in pain. But a good pain, the "I haven't
worked out in a long time, and all the exercise that I got
today took a toll on my muscles" pain. And as much as I
hurt, i guess I'm gonna force myself to go running again
tomorrow. Nothing like regularity to form a steady habit.

Talked to Kristy today. What a relief that was. I hadn't
heard from her in a few days, she was out of town this
weekend, on a family thing to Vermont. But her call totally
cheered me up. I have no idea what I am gonna do when she
goes back to school. I am going to miss her so much. I will
definately be making frequent trips to go and see her in
Fredonia. Oh...and her mom. I don't know what made me think
of this all of a sudden...but her mom is so excited about
helping Kristy plan her wedding. When I stay the night, we
stay up and look through a bunch of bridal magazines that
Kristy has, and she will get all excited about baking
a "pretend" wedding cake. It's awesome to see her so
excited about it. I only hope that my mom will be that
excited when I get married (someday)

I've been doing a lot of thinking about life, and what I
want to do with myself with the year that I am taking off
of school. I want to travel. Which means that I need money
of course, but hey...one thing at a time. I love traveling,
something about just getting out of town is good, out of
state is better...but I'm aiming for out of the country.
And not Canada either...I've seen enough of that
country...although it is much cooler than here. So someday,
before I die, I am going to go to Australia. Or India.
Maybe both. I want to be a well traveled, well cultured
person. I want to be able to talk about art, about the
world...about life. I want to see the Louvre in France, or
ride on a gondola in Italy...visit the Taj Mahal in India.
There are so many things that I want to do. I want to find
my passion, something that makes me stive to be a better
person, something that makes me feel totally and completely
alive.

I've come to the conclusion that no one person can make
someone else happy. I've heard so many times someone
say "he/she makes me so happy". I understand that to an
extent. When you have someone to share everything with,
that's good. There is a part of you that you can only give
to your significant other, and that should make you happy,
but the only one that can make you truly happy is yourself.
I've been happy being single. I have also had my bouts when
I long to have someone there. Someone to hug and
kiss...someone that you know will be there for you in a way
that no one else will be. And although I don't know exactly
what my status is right now...single or whatnot, I have to
learn to be happy.

Well, I've babbled on for long enough. I think I use this
thing too much. But hey, whatever works.

If I don't think of anything else to write about tonight,
(I can probably find something else boring to talk
about)...then I will definately write tomorrow. Right now I
have to do some stuff, and get in a quick workout before I
go to bed...I'm taking up yoga and meditation...it's
supposed to help me obtain a higher level of consciousness.

Goodnight, and God bless.

~Starrynite~