My Reality
Ad 2:
2002-09-19 01:42:38 (UTC)


truth..its something you should be able to expect from
those who are close to you correct? its that comfort that
you can trust that they will be honest and kind and caring
with you and treat you with love and honesty...well what
happens when that sense of security fades and someone whom
you trusted and felt at ease with betrays you and you are
left with them in a situation that cant be changed.
i had a small issue with a friend that lives a few doors
down, so i just avoided her for a few days so i wouldnt do
something stupid, and yes i told my roommate about it bc i
felt that i could trust her with my problems i just needed
to vent. well she took it wrong, and went to my friend and
said that i wasnt being nice at all i wasnt talking to
anyone and that she was thinking it would just be best if
she moved out of our room....lauren was shocked...
lauren said that she knew what was wrong and knew things
would work out but jennifer was confronting her and talking
badly about me....
i confront jenn and she basically lies to my face...i know
what she said about lauren was wrong and it sounded nothing
like what lauren would say...she told me lauren came to
her...yeah right..lauren said that i just wasnt talking to
anyone and got attitude..which isnt lauren at all...
i should know better i just hate being lied to and i
couldnt leave it alone..i had to ask my roommate and she
lied...i spent an hour and a half last night consoling her
bc she was having bf issues which i think is bullshit, and
then she has the balls to lie to me..i gave her tissue damn
it..i hugged her and told her all the crap i was suppose
to, hell she snotted on and got me sick but i did it none
the less bc i thought she was cool and deserved
i know i know she is a lying bitch that i cant
handle i always tried to deal wiht her mental issues with
the best of attitudes but i think that the tables have
turned on me and i have been exposed to her bad side too.
it took her a year but she finally did it to me and i just
cant handle it ...problems or not condition or not i will
not be lied to !!!!!!
i am just hurt not mad really just really .....naked..i
feel i have been really exposed to her...its like that ba
dream where you are trapped naked and she was the one
pointing and laughing...i justed she would be the one
person who would never do that to me...she was the one
person who i really just was myself with up here...hell i
live with her its hard not to fucking
stuck and all i wanna say is god i am sick of it..i
want "J" i want to move and i want out...i am so damn tired
of this place...god just need away...i know it sounds needy
and clinging and it would freak him out but virginia sounds
so good right now..."J" is a perk but god far away from
here and a new start at what i want, ...hehe
plus "J"....god it would make life better...he just seems
like my motivation here hes like my goal...i
just want to achieve him one day...hahah god how stupid
does that sound....but i really do kinda see him as my
prize for living life..if i do it right for long enough and
make the right choices, life will bring him to me...warped
i know, but it keeps me moving right now so it works for