ParanoidBabyDoll

This is where u want me to put the name
2002-09-18 03:59:39 (UTC)

Sometimes I drink Iced Tea

yummy. Altho Im drink the yucky tea bag iced tea bc all we
had was beer and orange juice in the fridge. we shud fix
that. yea so my uterus is falling out. ouch. so yea that
sucks and i was gonna stay home but then i realized id be
sooooooooo bored if i did. I went to my counselor today n
ran into a girl i kno from skool and it didnt really
bother me bc its like well shes there too ya kno but my
mom like turned white n looked so embarassed. i think shes
embarrassed that i go there. she told her co workers that
im going to the regular doctor again but thas wat she said
2 weeks ago when i went so yea they probly think im like
dying. Its odd i actually feel kinda ok with all this like
i realize this is all ic an do bc im just so sick of bieng
this way. Im sick of being depressed. Im sick of not
liking myself. Im sick of hating my body. Im sick of
feeling worthless. Im sick of being used. Im sick of
always ending up with ppl who treat me like shit. Im sick
of not having confidence in myself. Im sick of acting like
I do. Im just so sick of it so since this is the way to
change it this is wat im doing. and my mom honestky thinks
ill be "done" by november. i was like umm ok yea ill just
snap my fingers n it'll all be ok. o well. I figure maybe i
shud look for good guys from now on. I just want a guy who
like holds doors n treats me good n i dont want him to pay
for stuff but i want him to offer to ya kno. i dunno i
never wanted that b4 bc i felt i didnt deserve it but now
im realizing thats wat i want n now i dont think im ever
gonna find it. i dunno ive always been scared to commit n
let someone in but now its like thats all i want. ugh imso
odd lol. BLAH. i definately made myself throw up like 3
times today n it didnt make me feel any better so thats
poopy. maybe i shud just exercise instead. i used to feel
good after i exercised cuz i got out aggression n stuff.
meh o well. DA DA DA. ok ill shush now.





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