my life
2001-07-24 20:40:53 (UTC)

Tues 7-24

3 weeks until gville. . .

Okay, so i realized that the time stamp on this thing is
off by about 3 hours because i guess its in a different
time zone, so i think im going to put the time into each
entry. Right now its about 4:30 pm, and i just got off the
phone with caleb. we talked about cars, suprise. thats
about the only safe conversation with us that wont get us
into a fight. he is talking about all this stuff he wants
to do to his car that is going to cost so much money.
like, he wants to get these wheels that cost $1080, that is
such a ridiculous amount of money. i guess that proves
that he doesnt care that much about me. bc he would be
spending that money coming to visit me more often than once
a year, instead of on his car. when i asked him if he was
going to start dating hannah he said he didnt know bc he
wanted to save his money of for his car. the boy really
has his priorities messed up. oh well, at least we
mananaged a whole conversation of about 10 minutes without
fighting and we actually got off the phone in an amicable
way. yeah for us. . . i told him i may call him later
tonight, if i got a chance while i was out with the youth
group. but i doubt i will call, just so i can make him
wait for me for a change.

oh yeah, im going skating with the youth. i havent been
skating since i was in the 7th grade i think, so i know im
going to kill myself. my back is already hurting for who-
knows what reason, so i think death is a definite
possibility. oh well, maybe i will get lucky and some cute
guy that is my age will be there for some reason and i will
meet him. . .yeah, right. and then there is the lock in, i
had better have some angels watching out for me tonight. im
already exhuasted, i have no idea how i am going to be able
to stay awake for the whole night and then drive to
gainesville tomorrow and stay up the whole night again.
this whole night is going to be a death sentence. but, who
knows, maybe it will turn out to be fun, i can only hope.

i talked to david last night online. its been a while since
ive talked to him. he called me cutie a couple of times
and said he is interested in seeing me. he asked if i
wanted to get together wed or thurs. i told him i was going
to gville on wed, but ill call him on thurs. i really want
to hang out with him, he is really cute. and, who knows,
maybe i will get some play out of the whole deal. gosh,
that makes me sound so bad and like such a whore. but its
been a while, what can i say. he said he still talks to
carrie some, so im kind of afraid that he will tell her
that we hung out, and somehow (i dont know how, bc she
doesnt work at the store anymore, but, with carrie, there
is always a possibility) it will get back to caleb and then
he will be pissed off and it will ruin any chance of us
getting back together. but, i really shouldnt worry about
caleb finding out bc he is not my freaking boyfriend, he is
just my friend! who cares what he knows or thinks, its not
like im cheating on him. i mean, hes gone out with hannah
twice, im sure hes kissed her, okay, thats not what i want
to or need to be thinking about right now, back on the
subject. . .the last time we were together, david and i,
we make out pretty hard, and that was when it was against
the rules. so, now that everything is legal, there is no
telling what will happen. maybe i will have some juicy
stories to tell friday morning. . . that is, if i can get
back gville in time. i told christie about david and going
out with him thurs, so i think i may be able to get back,
but i think she is going to be a little mad. she already
wants me to stay the weekend, for als bday, but i cant bc
my family is leaving on fri for daytona for a week and a
half (possibility for meeting a guy-gosh,i sound so
desperate, maybe bc i am. . . oh well). i just realized
all the driving im going to be doing on like no sleep
whatsoever. i hope i dont kill myself or anything.

the beach trip, i wonder what that is going to be like, i
have no one to hang out with there, just my parents and my
borther. as much as i hate my sister, she at least gave me
someone to hang out with. i guess ill just be a loner on
the beach and maybe some cute guy will walk up to me ask to
put lotion on my back. let me think about the chances of
that happening. . . um, 1 in 500000000000000000000, very
true. oh well, maybe some ugly boy will do it. . .
hehe. . . who knows, right? i prayed for a cute guy to sit
next to me at the braves game, and who do i end up
sandwiched between? mr. mullet and my lil bro, very yummy,
i think not :( oh well. . . im sure that when god wants me
to meet mr. right he will plop him down right in front of
me, i just wish that time was now, im so lonely. i hate to
say it, but i really miss caleb. ugh, not thinking about
him, not thinking about him, not thinking about him. . . im
hungry, maybe i will go help mom with dinner. ta ta!