Day to Day
I'm gonna end up writing a lot
Wow, this is like my first day and I already have 3
entries, this could be a lot of "bitching". Newayz,I just
talked to Kristi and she talked to Dan, here's the latest:
Jeff, B, Craig, Skinny (Scott), P-Dub (Eric), Adam, Dave,
and Dan vs. Jon, Chris, and their 20 something other
friends. Ok, I went to school with Jon and I havn't heard
about him since like the 6th grade. Of course they are just
fighting about the drugs. Never did I think I would be able
to say that I would know these drug dealers and actually be
a part of all this damn drama . . . it's one big game of
war . . . like in the movies. I could probably write a book
on all of this drama. I wonder if I am on B and Craig's
hitlist. I mean I've got every reason to hate B, I didn't
trash his damn place . . . and u know it really hurts that
he would think that I would do that. But if he knew all the
reasons why I can't look at him the same, wouldn't he
understand? I hated that part of my life, the depression,
and being in the hospital, it was really one of the
scariest things I've ever been through. But he was never
willing to be a friend through all that bullshit . . . when
I needed a friend the most. The goal was to get me fucked
up and get me in bed. That's shitty, but whatever.
Actually, honestly that was dick of him, damn I was nieve.
I wish I could have 5 min to just tell him everything :
" I hate u, I don't still like u, ur a dick, u hurt me. How
could u think I still have feelings for u after what I went
through, abortion is a bitch, especially when u go through
it alone. I went against everything I believed in because
of u, but it must be my fault, it could never be ur fault I
got pregnant! "
I don't know what he would say. I will have to elaborate
more on this situation because neone reading this is
probably really confused, but it's too long and complicated
and I will explain when I know I am ready.
I wish I could be the peacemaker. Just step in and then
everyone would realize they are being stupid, and in one
moment everything would make sense, but the world doesn't
work that way, and that sux.