the life of one woman
sex and the city - hah!
my life these days is more like: the pendulum of climactic
temper tantrums to intermediate sex and the silicon valley.
fuck. carrie bradshaw i hate you. oh, but i do love that
samantha. sure it would be nice to be as smart, bitchy, and
sassy as the red head whose name escapes me (i can add it
later), i can only fantasize but doubt i could settle into
being the wife like the brunette, but, oh how i would love
to have samantha's life. sometimes i've gotten close. i
suppose if i were born and raised in new york, i would have
a life very similar to hers, but as luck would have it i
wasn't. fuck luck, i'll have to go live in new york for a
couple years some time.
well, reality now is pretty annoying lately. every so often
that is interrupted by something fun or surprising and fun.
i swear, i wouldn't complain, nearly so much if i hadn't
gotten myself into a jam comprised of being stuck in an
unfulfilling relationship for the rest of my lease which is
9 months yet.
it must have been a couple weeks ago now that i had to admit
it once and for all that there was no way that i was going
to be truly happy with this one, nor was i willing to live
with him anymore. all of this hit me like a depressive ton
of bricks when i realized that there was no talking myself
out of it. sure i had made excuses for him, been willing to
compromise before, told myself that he would change in time
but finally it was time to admit that none of these things
excused every one of his behaviors. the small things and the
large things piled up and in such large numbers that finally
i found myself in a small room of denile with one large
elephant whose existence i wouldn't admit.
well, it smells like shit in here and i want out of this