as the Oval turns
2002-09-17 05:04:39 (UTC)

ever since...

Songs of the past few months:
Brandy - "Full Moon"
Sixpence None the Richer - "Breathe"

Since I last wrote, quite a bit has happened. Pacey
graduated last June, but our good-bye didn't really feel
like a good-bye. It was like I was at peace with it.
Although he and I are friends, at the time I felt that if I
stayed in touch with him, that's fine, and if I don't, it
would suck but I could live okay with it.

Over the summer I went home and as expected, I saw the
racism that permeates out of Detroit. But as I started to
get involved in things, and God showed me some stuff, I
started to see it a little differently. God showed me that
racism is a sin. What I saw was very troubling. Most of
the ignorance I encountered was from other Christians, who
happened to be white. At the same time, I had the
experience of hearing whites speaking out about the racial
segregation and polarization in the area, but the people
who were saying this weren't even Christian. Now, I'm not
saying that only Christians should have good ideas.
However, God calls us to be a witness and a representation
of who He is. He also made us all in His image. What does
that say if those who are representing Him & His gospel are
treating other fellow human beings, Christian or not, as if
those people are less than they are due to a sociological
concept created because of greed, and on top of that,
believe that it's okay? Isn't something wrong with this

Meanwhile, Pacey and I kept in contact with each other over
the summer. I was getting things together for my last year
of undergrad and applying to grad school, and he was
getting himself together for med school.

A little over a week ago, I moved back to Ohio for RA
training. During this time, I have gotten to get to know
my staff better. Most of the staff is new, so it's
different. But I like it. I don't feel isolated like I
felt at times last year. Also, being a returner makes me
feel more comfortable with the process. And one other
thing...I think that RAing last year did change me in a
sense, or if nothing else, got me out of my shell, to where
it's easier for me to get over my fear of talking to people
I don't know well (or at all). So despite the lack of
sleep at night, I really enjoy training.

Pacey started med school not too long ago, just to decide a
few days ago that he would take a year off to do (???).
Why, I'm not sure. I got the feeling at the end of last
school year that it would be wise for him to take time
off. But I wonder why he waited until after he started,
not to mention that he had said a few days before he made
his decision that it wasn't as hard as he thought it would

But yeah, we still keep in touch and everything. Sure, it
would be great if he were my man. But you can't always
have what you want, such is life...