My Reality
Ad 2:
2002-09-16 19:18:28 (UTC)

what to do what to do

I dont know what i want to do. ok ok let me rephrase that.
i have a good idea of what i like to do what i am good at
doing and what i think i should do but when it comes down
to making desicions and finding that path that i should
take i am fucking clueless.
ok so i dont want to be my sister. my parents joke that
the older i get the more i become like my sister which
completely enrages me. they know we are complete opposites
but at the same time the idea that i could become that
woman who is 25 stuck in a job that pays nothing is living
from pay check to pay check and is forced to live in homes
with holes in the walls and eat mcdonalds for the rest of
my years scares the hell out of me. i mean i look at the
facts and realize that i have savings i will be ok for a
while if things didnt work out the way i wanted them to,
but it still freaks me out.
i love my drafting class i mean absolutely would spend all
my money on drafting supplies have been doing it for fun
kind of love here. it is so much fun and i am fairly good
at it. but this doesnt fit into my plans at all. i was
read to be done with app this semester and start my trek
into the real world by getting my own place saving some
more money being on my own and gettting ready for
cosmetology school the following fall but now i am faced
with an oppurtunity to stay at app and possibly see where
this whole interior design thing could go. actually i am
thinking that interior design isnt really what i want to do
i wouldnt mind going more along the lines of architect or
something along those lines. just be an architechtural
designer in place of an interior one, bc right now the idea
of placing pillow shames with the right comforter for the
rest of my life kinda makes me want to set my hair on
ok so now what. do i stay do i go do i try for something
different or stick to what i KNOW would make me happy. i am
great at cosmetology and i enjoy it greatly but it pays
crappy and the only way i can do fairly well is if i open
my own place. if i was an architech i could work for
someone else and not have the hassle of being the boss and
could have benefits and what not....aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh i
dont know what to do...gotta think about this one some more!