Just An Average Girl

The Chronicles of a 16 year old Girl
2001-07-24 09:41:15 (UTC)

First entry...it's a long one! Very informative though.

*Monday, July 23rd-2:29 AM
OK, well, my sister has been doing an online diary for a
while from another website, so I thought I'd try it. Plus
it's pretty late and I'm not at all tired. I'll tell you a
little about myself. I'm 16, 5'3, 100lbs, blonde hair, and
blue eyes. Jealous? No? Me either. Umm, I think I look
pretty young for my age. Like I have a.."cute" face, you
know? Not something you want as a 16 year old. But
anyway, I live in TX, and I thoroughly enjoy it. I'm going
to be in the 11th grade, and I'm pretty excited. My sister
is going to be a freshman in college. I can't believe it.
It seems like only yesterday when we were taking baths
together and playing school. Wait..it was. Haha, just
kidding, that's kinda nasty. Well, I'm a very sarcastic
person. I know it gets annoying sometimes, but people are
too nice to tell me. I'm also very hyper. People rarely
see me when I'm not in a good mood and making people
laugh. I'm not trying to sound like I'm Mrs. Perfect
(because believe me, I'm not) but if you asked any of my
friends they'd say I was the funny one of the group. Oh
crap, I'm sounding like the people that I always make fun
of. The people that go on and on about their best
qualities. Well really, I'm not like that, I just want to
make sure that you know the real me and what I'm like. I'm
assuming this will be the longest entry I'll ever have
because I plan on telling you everything I think someone
who is reading about my personal life should know. So far
I've covered my looks, and my basic personality. Oh, I
forgot to mention I'm very critical. My whole family
is...we can find a way to make fun of anyone and anything.
Seriously. We're not bad people though...we just are
picky..? I don't know, it's not something that is ruining
my life. Well, I guess it's time to get a little more
personal. Umm, I guess it's kinda ironic that I'm
the "happy funny" one of the group (by the by, I got voted
Happiest Student in 2nd grade! YEAH!) because I think in
all I've had the hardest life. Let's see, well my dad was
in the military, so that right there means that I was
always moving which is hard on a kid. But I have lots of
friends with parents in the military, so I'm not alone on
that one. When I was in 2nd grade, we moved to Virgina. I
hated it. But we had a nice little neighbor girl who was
my age, and eventually we became friends. Soon we were
best friends. Me, my sister, and Amy (that was her name)
would always go out and talk about all of out "monster
sightings" of the day every night. We made a club out of
it. Good time. The only bad part was, Amy had a disease.
Sometimes she would go to the hospital and we would go up
there to visit her and play with her in the little kids
room. We never actually thought that Amy went there
because she was sick. It was just like "oh Amy's in the
hospital, time to go play with her!" But one day me and my
sister were gone and when we came home my mom was gone and
there was a note saying that she had gone to the hospital
with Diane (Amy's mom) and Linda (our neighbor). We knew
what it was about, but we tried not to worry too much. Me
and Jessie (my sister) went outside and played with our
friend Henry. Then the phone rang and I ran in to get it.
It was my mom. She said, "I'm coming home soon...don't
cry". I knew right then that Amy had died. But she didn't
just come out and say it, so I wouldn't let myself actually
belive it had happened. So I went back outside, and
continued to play, not telling Jessie and Henry about the
phone call. Then they all came home, with McDonalds and
dried tears. We all cried and hugged. I don't really
remember much. This all happened in 4th grade, by the
way. Well, life went on, I went to 5th grade...during
which time my parents were seperated and in the middle of
getting a divorce. My dad didn't live on base with us
anymore, so we went to go see him in town on some
weekends. I remember once we went to this shopping center
thing and we walked around and ate and had a good time, and
then when we were leaving, me and Jessie got in the car and
my dad went back to the trunk and opened it and pulled a
bottle and took some drinks from it. We both knew what it
was, but were too scared to say anything. My dad wasn't at
all a violent man, he was very nice actually. I didn't
know why he was doing that. But I just overlooked it.
Anyway, the summer after 5th grade my mom said we were
moving to Abilene, TX where my grandmother lives. What was
odd was that it was my dad's mom. She and my mom were very
close though. Well, we moved there and I started 6th
grade. I made some friends and life was pretty OK. Then
my mom called me and my sister downstairs one day and told
us that our dad had a seizure at work and fell and hit his
head pretty hard. He was rushed to the emergency room and
had to have brain surgery. She said that he was ding ok,
but "wasn't out of the woods." That phrase disturbed me a
lot. Mainly because I didn't really get it. He was still
livign in virginia when this happened, but he had been
moved to a different hospital to have the surgeries. We
went to go see him along with my grandma. When we got to
the hospital, before we walked into the room they said that
he will look very different. I knew that of course, but I
wasn't expecting what I saw. We walked in and there was my
dad, so skinny, with a shaved head, laying there in a
hospital bead. There was a dent in his head where they
removed some of his skull to do the surgery. I burst into
tears. We walked over there and he grabbed our hands. He
spoke very slowly..like he could barely talk. He told us
not to cry. We stayed there for a while, but then we had
to leave. We went back home a week later. He was able to
leave the hospital but had to continue doing therapy and
stuff. He was far from being back to his old self. He
never really improved from the way he was that day. He
could never refer to people as their names because he just
couldn't get it out. Not that the words were too hard, his
brain just wouldn't process it. He would mix up easy
stuff, like "downstairs and upstairs" and "brother and
sister". He pretty much had the mental capacity of a 3rd
grader. Well, not really, he had all his knoweldge in his
head. his brain just couldn't form it all into words.
Sometiems he drew pictures if he couldn't say the word.
Things stayed like that for a while. He moved in with my
grandma (who lived in Abilene too, remember?) so we were
able to go visit him a lot. In the middle of all that, my
great grandma died. I wasn't too close to her, but it was
still sad. We went to her funeral. Well, life got back to
normal. I didn't really tell anyone but maybe one friend
about what happened to my dad. I didn't want them to feel
sorry for me..I didn't want anything to be different. So I
kept it to myself. So, I made new friends as time went on
and life just seemed to be good. Then before I knew it, it
was time for high school! I was so excited. And freshman
year was everything I hoped it would be. Parties, cute
guys, great friends. Everything was so good..untill
March. I remember one night I was laying in bed, it was a
school night, and then the phone rang. It was my uncle
(who also lived with my grandma). He asked for my mo, so I
ran and gave the phone to her and hopped back in bed. Then
after a little bit my mom called, in a very sad
voice "girls? Come here" and I knew it was bad. I was
like "no!" and covered myself up with my blanket. Hoping
it would go away. But my mom came in and sat on my bed.
She was crying. She said, "Your dad had a seizure, and
they think he's dead." No. This just wasn't fair. I
started crying and we hugged for a while. Then she said
that we needed to go to my grandma's house. So we all
drove over there, and there was an ambulance out front. We
went inside..the paramedics were upstairs in my dad's
room. We went to the living room where my grandma was and
we all hugged and cried. Then, when we were all sitting
there, we heard a stretcher being pulled down the stairs.
A stretcher with my dads body on it. Do you know what that
sounds like? It was bad. But I tried to ignore it. Well,
I missed that day of school but I went back the day after
that. All my teachers knew because I guess they're
informed when stuff like that happens. They would all come
up to me and tell me how sorry I was, and that was exactly
waht I didn't want. I just wanted things to be normal. I
was depressed that day. I have band last period,and
there's over 100 people in freshman band, so it's a pretty
big class. Once class started, the director was
like "Annie, I'm very happy to see you here, but I'm kinda
surprised" and then told the whole class about what had
happened. I didn't want everyone to know, but I know he
was trying to help. I started crying when he told
everyone. Then I began to hear sniffles around the room.
That meant a lot to me, that people cared about what
happened to me. Well, when class was over I got a lot of
hugs. The next day I missed school for the funeral. 7 or
8 of my friends came. I really liked that, it made it a
lot easier. After that I continued to go to school
everyday trying to act normal. I never actually told
anyone about my dad I dont think, and I'm sure there's a
lot of people that still don't know. I'm ok with that
though. Soon after it happened, I was back to being my old
self, because I know my dad wouldn't want me to become a
different person because of him. Well, time went on and
things got better again. School was out and then before I
knew it, 10th grade! Life was good again, I did everything
with my friends, and I was always on the phone. But then
one day, I heard that one of my old VERY best friend from
like 8th grade and some of 9th grade had gone to the
hospital for asthma. I didn't even think anything of it
for some reason. But one weekend when my aunt was in town
visiting us, I got a phone call from a girl I barely talk
to. She was crying, and she told me that Sonya (the friend
with asthma) had died that morning. I started crying, and
called my sister in and told her. It was hard. But later
that night my sister, me, my mom, and my aunt went to olive
garden because that was the original plan. I was so sad
about Sonya, but again, I didn't want this to change things
and change me, so I tried to not think about it. I do that
with a lot of things. So a couple of days later there was
the funeral, and there were over hundres students there.
It was nice to see so many people there. I knew some of
them had gone just to get out of school though. That made
me mad. Well, again, the rest of the school year went on,
and I became really close to my best friend Allison. We
talked on the phone for at least 2 hours a day. So we
finished up sophomore year, but Allison, who's parents are
in that dang military, had to move during the summer. We
all knew it was coming, but we just kept not talking about
it. We would mke joked about how it wasn't really going to
happen. But then it did. Allison, my best friend, who
knows everything about me, who is just like me, who even
kinda looked like me (people always asked if we were
sisters) was moving! Luckily in the months before she
moved we started hanging out with some new people, so when
she moved I wouldn't be stuck alone. Well, the time
finally came (actually it was about 2 weeks ago) and
Allison had to move to germany. We threw a going away
party for her and made this really cute collage and we're
in the process of making a tape with all of her friends and
all the hot guys she likes on there saying stuff to her.
So on the day that she moved we all went to her house to
say bye, and of course we all cried. She moved to
Germany!! That is so freaking far! But she can still get
online, so it's not that bad. So that pretty much take us
to the present day. Here I am, living with my mom and my
sister, in Abilene. And I must say I'm very happy with my
life. Although it may seem like I should be depressed or
something, I'm far from it. I love being with my friends
and doing fun stuff. I think that all the bad stuff that's
happened to me has just made me a stronger person, and has
helped me to appreciate the smaller things in life (corny -
I know). Well, it is now 4:38 AM. I had to take a little
break because my sister came in here and I didn't want her
to know I had a diary too, because I was just making fun of
them the other day. OK well if anyone has actually erad
this whole thing, then I have got to give you props!!
Trust me, the rest of the entries wont be like this...I
just thought I would get some things out of the way. Well,
I guess that's all for this entry...