The Baffled King

The Minor Fall & The Major Lift
2002-09-16 07:53:39 (UTC)

Fuck'n Go

Mood: sick
Music: "Get Gone" by Fiona Apple

Ugh. Another all-nighter, I think. It's 4:30 and I have to
babysit tomorrow/today, so no sleepy for me, co I don't
know if I'll be able to get up in three hours.

Man, I smell terrible. My clothes smell like I've
beenwearing them for a week. What is it with this house?
Frig.

Haha, on my Kazaa it says Hellacaust is "blues". Mwa ha
ha... hardly. when I first heard their name, I actually
thought they were a white supremist (that's not how you
spell it... how the fuck do you spell it?!) band. I was
really wrong. Well... I THINK I'm wrong, anyway.

Oh, no. I just sneezed. That fucking sucks... I don't ever
sneeze unless I'm sick. Not a good sign. Maybe I have the
West Nile virus... naw, that's too convenient. I was
probably humped by a ghost and got apparitional VD or
something stupid like that. Mmm... crunchy skin bits.
Terrific.

Well, Cindie and I had another "great" conversation today.
I swear, everytime we have a conversation, it's the same
feeling, same sequence of emotions... only different
topics now and then. Fuck. Why can't we starighten out? I
thought maybe it was because we're ex's, but that's not
it. We're just not right anymore. Meh.

Last night, I had my radio show and then slept over at
Lianna's. We had a beautifully earnest talk in the middle
of the night. I think we've finally become more important
than just people who make each other laugh. We're now real
friends, with real problems. I always thought that we
never had problems between us because we were never that
serious as friends. Well, I guess I was right; and I'm
also fortunate, because we don't have problems now,
either. I left her place at five in the morning for home.
I just felt like I had to leave, like I'd done something
wrong to her enviroment. I don't know what that was
about... it was a terrifying walk, but I met literally no-
one except the paperboy/30 year-old guy.

On Tuesday, I'm going over to SMu for the day...
tomorrow/today I'm babysitting... Thursday me and Katie
and hanging out... which leaves Wednesday as the perfect
day to break up with Kathy. I'll make plans for then. I
really don't want her hurt. I'm no big deal; I'm quite the
opposite of a "catch". I've not only been a shitty
boyfriend, I've been a shitty fucking PERSON, which
certainly doesn't help my ugliness. But she will
devastated that the relationship itself is gone... So all
I care about now is that she doesn't get hurt. I don't
care if I look like a coward or a bastard or whatever... I
just want her to be fine. I never want to make anyone ever
feel like I'm "ashamed" of them (that's a direct quote
from her... what a jerk I am).

Well, I'm off to my room... the computer's hurting my
head. Good night.

------------------
The Top Five
1 - "Don't Be Crushed" by Hawksley Workman
2 - Reese's Pieces squares
3 - "This Train Don't Stop There Anymore" by Elton John
4 - "Dancing Alone" by Ours
5 - Poutine
------------------

Until next time... Don't Throw Up On My Weave, Danny...




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