sweetaddiction

hiv.

it is a little weird to think.
that after all the cleaning i did.
the rearranging of my life.
it was just..
a little too late.
and there is nothing that can change this fact.
i am living here to die.
i am dying to live now.
now.

i was just a little girl.
just a silly little neive girl..
and now. i have to suffer for my actions.
for the rest of my life.
suffer with the pain and the disgrace.
suffer for my past.
suffer all the rest of my future.

my tears wont change a thing.
and i dont want pity.
but can not cope with this.
this isnt life.
this isnt existance.
this is pain and this is death.
and i am sorry.
i used up all my strength trying to change things.
i have nothing left to pay.
i wish you all my best.
i wish you all
happiness.