Life as I know it.
2001-07-23 22:24:18 (UTC)

Men who hurt my friends should be dead

Okay so you hear about how I feel about Matt, both and good
mad and for once im bithing about a boy and its not him.

We will call this boy J cause since he isnt really a part
of my life, I will use his first initial. He majorly
played with one of my friends mind...oh not for just a few
days, for the whole fucking summer. He led her on, big
time, acted like he always wanted to be with her, even made
dates with her...and conveniently cancelled them. All his
friends said he was the nicest sweetest guy on earth so
that led her to believe that he really wanted to be with
her. So she continues sleeping with him, keeping things
casual but she wanted more and he led her to believe she
wanted more...but if he didnt lead her on, she would have
been perfectly content with what they had, cause hey they
were friends first. BUT NO HE LED HER THE FUCK ON. So you
want to know how it all ended? They just got finished
fucking and they were just lying there in the dark and he
got up lit a ciggarette and turned away from her and told
her that it was a giant play and it was fun while it lasted
but he wants a girlfriend someone whom he loves and
respects, and that it was not her. That was cold, i mean
he told her right after they slept together. This is why I
truly truly have lost most of my trust and respect for the
male race...why and how can they just be so uncaring. Why
cant men just say what they want? Instead they bring
emotions into it that shouldnt even be there just so they
can makesure they get exactly what they want but totally
disregard the feelings of females. Am I BITTER? Yes. At
this point in my life if I guy i really liked did that to
me, I would seriously seriously kick his ass. I mean Matt
hurt me, but we were going out beforehand, so i slept with
him after we broke up? I was dumb, I knew what I was
getting myself into, and I got out of it. He hates me now,
fine. I miss him one day hate him the next, fine too. BUt
at least he never pulled the above shit on me. I respect
him for that. And J should have never ever did that to my
friend, she is more vengefl than I am, actually I know what
is going to happen to him, but im not discussing this. I
mean, this is my bitching, I dont really take out hardcore
revenge, i mean im a vengeful person I always want to hurt
the person who hurt me a lot worse than I hurt, but i do
nothing about it, I just write, its my outlet. I mean its
one thing to hurt me, fine I can deal, but I HATE seeing
other people hurt my friends, i hate it so much.

Other than this bitching entry things are okay, dying from
the heat, looking or a job, Mike is drivig me insane to see
if heather likes him (i just dont know why he doesnt ask
her himself cause we're in our 20s not preteens), bought
tons of junk at CVS just cause it was on sale and it killed
time and it was A/C'd (unlike my apartment), talked to mom
today and found out Aaron is coming back for a weekend
(unfortunately the weekend where i wont even be around so
ill miss the boy), what else? Well i still have to call
kristin to see when she has time to go get tix for the
warped tour, talk to mark somehow and see if its his party
that is the fourth cause if it is i cant get trashed cause
family fun on that sunday, what else? Im sure something
exciting might happen soon. Im so excited lindsay is
coming down friday, you just dont understand, i need her.
I never bonded with anyone like her, she is my best friend
and it sucks that she has to live in my state but 4 and a
half hours away=0( She is my sanity. Atually she's like
my sis...the greatest thing is i have this one picture of
her from two years ago i took and you cant tll if its her
or me. We're too similar she is like the dark haired dark
eyed version of me. Seriously we are even built almost
alike. same major, usually check out the same guys (but
then we have varying options cause she thinks half the guys
i like nerds and half the guys she likes i think look like
thugs. You'll have that sometimes. BUt enough rambling i
do have stuff to do.

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