listen to my silences
yesterday after school was a good day. charlie and i hung
out and had a really good time. we went to the mall...went
to the pet store and then upstairs to play video games. i
don't know what i want exactly, and neither does he. so
right now we're just hanging out. if something down the
road happens, cool. but we don't really even know each
other and i've rushed into too many relationships as it
is. i don't want him to be a rebound either. at all.
cause being a rebound is about the worst thing in the
world. so we'll see where it goes.
last night driving home from jamie's housewarming party, i
was so tired. it felt like i might fall asleep on the way
home. i was careful and didn't. but then i got home and i
couldn't sleep. i didn't fall asleep until after everyone
left for the band contest THIS MORNING. i finally slept
about three or four hours. it was a good sleep, really
deep. it was nice. but i'm really tired cause it wasn't
really enough and i lay awake all night thinking. thinking
can be a good thing at times...this just wasn't one of
those times. i was tired to think coherently so i didn't
get much sorted out.
so now...today's just a day. dad's not here so it's not a
bad day. it's just a day. i want to sleep but it's
daylight so i won't. there's no point in even trying.
plus i have some stuff to do for school and some friends to
check up on. some emails to write and who knows what
else. not even me. bills to pay too i think. *sigh*
final thought: i just want to go back to sleep