Kat Eyes
2002-09-14 04:05:21 (UTC)

september 13, 2002

maybe things are finally going my way! before dad started
working again, he was at home and he'd talk to lissa on my
msn. well, dad hates it here too and we're probably going
to move back! i'm so glad. i don't have to stay here for
the rest of my freggin life! but dad said he wants to get
back on his feet (in other words..get out of debt) and he
wants me to finish school here. so if we do end up moving
back, it'll be next summer. but i started school 2 weeks
ago, and i don't like it. i can't say i hate it, because i
look forward to going. but i like it because it gives me
something to do. rather than hang out with grandma all day.
practically everyone has changed! marie hangs out with tori
and alicia! something that i never thought she'd do. and
just it seems like everyone has changed. ruday started
smoking, which is disgusting in the first place. i'm
finding myself drawn more tword my "freak" friends rather
than marie, rudy, etc. nikki, blake, winter, both matts,
and the other are really funny and i just feel like they
know and understand me better than marie does. marie still
thinks that guys are the center of the universe and that
she's going to get a car if she gets straight a's at the
end of this year. but here are the classes i'm taking:
yearbook, spanish 1, biology, english 2, ceramics, dance,
and algebra 2. i think i temporarily forgot why i hated
monrovia high's yearbook so much. oh, yea. its because the
way mr. miller runs it sucks! the seniors are basically put
in charge of the book. (i mean, because its' THEIR book and
all...right?!) and even if the underclassmen have ideas,
we're not "old" enough to have input i guess. and miller's
replying on the damn publish too much for ideas. if miller
has to resort to a lay-out guide and 200 extra fonts to
make the book more interesting, then he should hire more
people with personalities. i swear, the sophomores in the
class are: cassie, joe, and 2 girls i don't even know
because they're so much higher on the "social ladder" than
i am. i bet those 2 girls have never touched a mouse in
their life. i mean come on, designing a lay out on a piece
of paper is much harder than on a computer program. for
pete's sake...its very self explanitory. you click the
little box icon to make a box! wow....my brain hurts from
thinking so hard!!!!!!!! and all that cassie and joe want
to do in class is look up people's sisters in past yearbook
and finish their geometry homework. good lord....are we the
hope for future america? our book's going to be so bad this
year. jostens messed up the book so bad last year, i don't
understand why miller doesn't switch publishers. we've been
with jostens for god-knows-how-long anyways, isn't it time
for a change? anyways...spanish 1. the guy teaching it is
also my ceramics teacher. hes ok i guess. hes pretty cool
when it comes to being like 2 seconds late to class or
forgetting a project in the trunk of your moms car. on my
first day, when i went to 3rd period ceramics instead of
4th, he totally understood that i looked at my schedule
wrong and was just so great about it. biology. ok...i
couldnt have a more vomit causing class room. he has like 7
huge snakes in his room, and a fuzzy spider. he changed the
cage of the snake thats right in front of my face
yesterday, but i'm convinced that all the other cages
haven't been changed all summer. theres all this nasty
white stuff in the cages and you have to take a deep breath
of good, clean air out side of his door befor you walk in.
its simply digusting. hes an ok guy i guess. he sounds alot
like mr.miller in florida. hes funny at least. english is
ok. i think the class is being taught in a stupid way
though. i've been bringing books to school, that i'm readng
for my own amusement ( i yank out my lil book whenever i'm
bored in class) i find myself reading more in her class
than of any of my other classes combined. all the work she
has us do is so easy. its like "is that all ya got?!" it'll
be an easy a class though, which is good. ceramics is fun.
i like working with my hands like that. we started making
these pinch bottles today. what you have to do is you hafta
make 2 pinch bowls ( a basic small bowl) and you have to
put them together, and make it look nice. well at first my
pinch bowls came out retarded. i mean i was thinking that
there was no way this would work. but mr. perez showed me
how to pinch the seam together and apply lip to it to
smooth it out and then how to roll it and it was great! it
looks like this perfect round ball. i didnt want to set it
down on the piece of wood because gravy would pull it down
and make the bottom flat. but i covered it in plastic so
hopefully it'll be ok. but the class is pretty cool.
dance...i love that class. it counts as PE and thats great!
plus we can wear sweats or whatever and we're learning
routines and stuff. its great. and algebra is actually fun.
i look forward to that class because the guy teaching it is
so cool. he does alot of hands on stuff, and hes just
really good at teaching. so that basically covers school.
last saturday dad also taught me how to weld. rod welding
is hard, and frustrating. i wouldn't use it if i had my
choice. i like wire welding better. its exactly like using
a hot glue gun. so i have that to keep me busy on saturdays
and after school on thursday. i also went into margit
houlouki's yesterday to sell a yearbook add, and she kinda
offered me a job. she knows me b/c mom used to work there
when i was like 5. and we got to talking yesterday and shes
like "well if you need a job go get your work permit and
let me know". so i went and got the form for my permit
today. this is so awesome. i can work with flowers, get
paid to do it, and i can use the money however i want
because its mine! i'm hoping i can start soon. right now i
really need the money. well...not really bad or anything
but like i want to get brandi a b-day present and nicks b-
day is coming up, etc. oh, speaking of brandi, she
supposidly tried to kill herself yesterday. she apparently
has like 20 scratches on her arms. not deep or anything,
but she went to circles of care. which is like a nice name
for the crazy house. i wish i was there to help her. or at
leas be there for her to talk to. i guess she tried to kill
herself b/c dad left (she really liked him and they were
close. and she missed cam. just having a dad in general)
but i highly doubt she was trying to kill herself. i mean,
shes been doing this for awhile. i think she just did it
enough times that someone finally opened their eyes and saw
it. i think brandi would be scared to die, but i'm not 100%
sure of it. but i wish i was there for her to vent on,
since danielle is like a part time sister. i'm still mad at
danielle for what happened with her and nick. i mean, i
guess i give her props for going for what she wants but not
when its my boyfriend! especially since we both love each
other and he (supposidly) trying to cope with my absense.
but i guess he must not miss me that much if he can go and
kiss someone i return who was like a sister to me. i think
that danielle was actually glad to see me go, so she could
get nick. and i hate to be the bearer of bad news...but
never going to like you! if there was even the slightest
chance when i asked nick out for danielle long long ago in
a galaxy far far away then he would have said yes. i'm
sorry, but nick will never belong to danielle. that goes
for even if he won't belong to me; danielle will never be
his-hes not that low. he loves me-and i believe him. and i
love him too. and i forgive him for what he did. i talked
to brandi last weekend and she said that danielle wanted to
keep the whole kiss thing a secret from me forever. thats
why i dont forgive danielle. danielle was always just ok in
my book, now i just think shes simply a hoe. and lissa
thought i was a bad example and a hussy? HA! lissa knows
like 5% of what goes on between us. if she even knew 20% of
what was going on then shed commit herself to circles of
care. one day lissa will realize that i was a damn good
influence on her kids, like i was for nick. well...in nicks
case i wasnt damn good, but i helped. his grandma adores
me, and shes like my second grandma, only b/c she thinks
thta nick and i should be together...and no one else thinks
that we should. well, brandi and joe dont mind, but i know
danielle and amanda wish i would drop off the face of the
planet so that they can have a chance. but thats not going
to happen if nick has anythig to do with it. if i drop,
he'll jump after me. we're attached at the hip now.
hahahaha...i feel bad for danielle now. well, i'm going to
go back to work on my cross stitch and try to check my e-
mail. mayeb grandpa will actually let me. more l8r.