The Princess Diaries
2001-07-23 06:47:39 (UTC)

Crazy ^_^

Dear Diary -

Nimeesha would be so amazing with this out-of-town boy,
Shawn. He's like, everything she's ever wanted in a guy.
PLUS, he's hot. Nimeesha likes hot guys. Hehehehehe =D I
don't know..I wouldn't really want to date him. First of
all, I'm not really into that whole long-distance thing.
Especially if it's THAT far's like, what, an hour,
two hours away? Crazy stuff...there's no way I would even
wanna TRY and deal with that.

Besides, Shawn has like, the craziest ex-girlfriend.
Nimeesha would deal with that so much better, too. I don't general? Nimeesha's a way nicer person than I am.
Trouble seems to find me somehow. I think being independent
and boyfriend-less for a while is good for me. I'm like,
horrible at being alone. I think I have this huge fear of
being abandoned? SO I definitely leech onto the wrong guys.
What a horrible, horrible thing.

Anyway...right now I'm just afraid of being beaten up.
There's this HUGE guy coming after me with his big big
friends. But then again...I have a huge guy that's a good
friend who will rescue me if something does happen. Right?
Right. So I guess it'll be okay. I don't know, though.
Today when I was eating dinner at this pasta place, I
started almost crying. I had no idea why...I think I'm just
beyond nervous. My muscles are weak and I'm so tense. I'm
really scared sometimes. I walked into my house and I swore
that I smelled smoke. I feel so paranoid.

I need to finish my homework. Night..