the life of me
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2002-09-13 03:38:43 (UTC)

September 12, 2002

wow, it's been a really long time since i've written in
here. i didn't write before cuz of camp... but now i guess
my only excuse is laziness. i don't even remember the last
time i wrote. where i was in life... all that jazz.
hehehehe. so i guess i'll start at the beginning of my
summer. i went up to a Christian summer camp on June 16,
2002. a day before the rest of the crowd arrived. when i
got there i was a little (ok a lot) reluctant to leave my
friends for a summer. but i was prepared to make the best
of a summer full of work. :) once the people got there the
next day, the fun didn't end. it was the most amazing
experience ever. the day i got there there were a few
people there. but i only knew about 3 of them. there was
karisa... i go to school with her, and then 2 people i
hadn't seen since i was about 13 (the fat & ugly stage of
my life). zack & levi... they're from a family that my
family has been friends with since... well, since before i
can even remember. i spent every summer with zack & levi
from ages 2-10. and then periodically saw them after that.
they used to live at the camp where we were now working.
their dad was the camp ranger... and my dad was the camp
pastor every year. so ya... we hung out a lot. seeing them
brought back SO many memories. you don't even KNOW. then
the rest of em came the next day. we went around in a big
circle introducing ourselves to everyone and vise versa.
within hours i'd made more friends than i knew what to do
with. that night we all sang songs in our room (the multi
purpose room) that all the girls were staying in... and
then i knew, this would be the best summer of my life.
over the next couple of days i got to know a guy. his
name was matt. he's from missouri & he was the most
hilarious guy i'd ever met (ok, i've known funnier... but
still... he was REALLY funny). well, we got close and
before i knew it, i had a summer romance on my hands. he
asked me out on july 19 and we dated until august 28...
when i realized that a long distance relationship just
wouldn't work for us. :( it was sad, but it had to be done.
and then there's the confusing part. see... i honestly
truely loved matt. i know, it's hard to believe that you
can fall in love with someone in only 2 months... but i
did. and see... i still am. and yet at the same time, i
like someone else. i can't really decide the reason. i
think it's just my need to have some kind of assurance that
i'm a good person and that i am likable. so ya. i like a
guy named cody. he's a great guy. opens doors, pulls out
chairs... a real gentleman... but he's not matt. so that's
the only problem. but other than that... oh man, camp was
amazing. i met so many amazingly AWESOME people that love
God as much as i do and weren't afraid to shout it all over
that mountain.
coming back home was hard. i miss them all so much. i
don't know how i'll go a whole year without seeing the
people that became like my brothers and sisters in the
course of a summer spent with them. but most of us still
keep in touch. so that's good. :).
school's been good. obviously... like i already said,
there's the cody thing. that keeps things interesting to
say the least. i just wish i knew how i felt about him. i
wish i could tell him all this crap. supposedly he likes me
too... but GRRR... i'm doubting that... but then he'll do
something that makes me totally NOT doubt it... so i don't
anyways... i'm doing well in my classes. i'm hoping this
year is gonna be fun. i got my license. YAY! i'm free now.
i drive everywhere. there hasn't been one weekend that i've
sat at home SINCE i've gotten it. it's an incredible thing.
hehehe. license = social security... not like old people
money. like... security in your social life. :) well, i
guess that's it. i've written enough and caught you all up.
MUAH. bye!

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