~The Misplaced Memories of a Dork~
2001-07-23 00:55:06 (UTC)

oh no........

Well friday I went to the concert and was just having fun
and then Gus showed up with Steph and to my total shock i
didnt feel anything for him. No pull, no desire, no anger,
no anything! It is great. I was just off enjoying myself
and then I saw Nate. haha jee two suprises in one night. I
went to go talk to him and he started to turn away or
something like he was going to avoid me and then I went to
talk to him and he tried to act all smug and said whats up
and stuff. I asked him why he wasnt in Corona with Missy
and he said "oh its too far and I wanted to come here
anyways." and i was just like whatever and I realize i was
going to drop him off. So I spent the rest of the night in
Josh's car, hehe just havin fun, but all i could do was
think of Patrick and being with him -longing for his body
and love. Now I just want things to go back to normal the
way they were when we were together and happy and nobody
could come between us. I talked to Pat today and we were
talking about college and me trying to go to SDSU so that i
could be near him (hes in UCSD). It would be so perfect if
i was near him, we would be perfect, together helping each
other all the time no matter what we wanted to do. And then
that would probly bring back the whole marriage thing and
we would get serious again. I love him so much though. I
just dont want to be away from him anymore. I LOVE

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