sosad

SoSad
2002-09-12 04:26:33 (UTC)

lazy dazy

yeah so i still don't have a job and i think that because
of that my life has become extremely wreckless. It's been
a really long time now (the longest ever, except from birth
to when it became legal)that i haven't been working a
normal job. I totally don't even count Big John's right
now. man that place was bloody crazy. I miss cody more
than anything in the world. I have never ever nor did I
ever think that I would have a connection like this with
someone. I want to be with cody for the rest of my life.
I cannot imagineus being apart. The fact that I am here
and he is there makes things very difficult. what the fuck
am I supposed to say to him. i love you, move here and be
with me. no. I cannot ask him to pick up everything and
for me. he already moved from his home town to omaha, and
that's big city compared to valentine, no...Sparks NEbraska
in cody's case. and I mean fuck i had all sorts of crazy
plans for my life that involved moving to NYC, and another
country too. I can't expect him to come with me verywhere
i go. But I don't want to be away from him. this sucks
more than anything and my educationis going to determine
wha ti end up doing I think. i know that cody is serios
about this because i think tha tour relationship has
unexpectedly fucked up our lives, in good and bad ways. i
think that both of our plans (or lack of plans) were thrown
off. this was the least expeced thing in my life. it was
actualy the oppiste of wha ti wanted to happen. i have to
get up early tomorrow and do the shit i didn't do until..
sleeeeeeeeeeeep




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