2002-09-12 03:08:50 (UTC)


Ugh! I still love him so so much! I say im kewl w/ the
friends thing n i am its just i dont even know! His cute
lil smile! Hes pretty eyes! Him hes just perfect! I cry
everynight thinkin bout him! n i reread the lil of emails i
have from him alot! cuz it makes me happy but yet i cry!
Its only been 3 or so days but he seems a hell of a lot
longer! I had this convo w/ Caleb through a note! n he sed
obviously i dont love him if i fell in love w/ all my bf he
sed i just really adapt to them! But honestly i think Josh
is diffrent! My first love love! if that makes sense! But
of course everyone has their first love n like a bitch it
dont wrk out! Everyone thinks we'll end back up together!
but i dont know wut to think..I dont want to go and agree
w/ them cuz if it doesnt happen i'll feel like more shit! n
If i dont think it will happen i'll feel like shit now! So
i just sey wutever, whenever happens, happens! It'll be
like forever pain! But hell i'll get over it sometime.But
right now i dont want to i still want him and I soo didnt give those
guys my number!! i dont
know why he thought that! Nina seys "IF josh asked you back
out why would u sey yes it will hurt all over again" But
hell i dont know why i would...It would prolly happen all
over again! But its worth the pain...i think Loves a Bitch! But it
happens over and over and over again! n your just gonna get
hurt over n over! Well Im out! Im tired! Muah*