Life according to Luvie..
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2002-09-11 15:15:53 (UTC)

I don't know what I am thinking

Dear Diary,
So here I am in class. Wondering what to do. There is a sub
right now so I thought I would take my chance. I know I am
ahead of everyone in this class. So lalal!!!!

I miss Charlie so much. Oh and Charlie and I broke up on
the first of this month right?! And then Princess tells the
whole world. I know that everyone would find out
eventually, but !!!! STILL! That bitch.

Me and Princess have gone through a lot. She is something
else I tell ya. I can't imagine life without all the drama
she caused at times. But sometimes in my lowliest of states
I think to myself...I should never have talked to her. I
should have let her hate on me forever and ever instead of
befriending her.

To think I fell in love with her. Oh well. Veni invited me
to go clubbing this weekend across. I want to take Jaime.
He's really a sweet guy. I know he likes me a lot though.
He walks me to class and is an all around good guy. Just
that he's my bro's best friend. That is definitely like a
big RED STOP SIGN in front of Jaime. But to hang out he's
great. Plus he hugs me.

Toné has been acting weird with me. He must have found out
about Kyle. Kyle kept wanting to do stuff with me yesterday
and I told him I wasn't in the mood. I told him that when I
was in the mood I'd tell him. So you know that prolly
didn't fly over too well with Toné seeing as he likes me
and all. Like he walks by and cusses me out or calls me a
liar. He asked me why I broke up with Charlie. I was like I
didn't want to but we both needed time.

I know what he really wanted to ask me was, "Did you fuck
around with Kyle!?" Which like duh I didn't. Charlie always
told me.."IF we break up, if you don't do anything stupid,
I'll take you back, no matter what." So lalala!! I am not
hooking up with anyone. I am not fucking anyone. I am just
here going out with guys. Seeing which one is entertaining
which one is boring. I needed time to myself. To have fun
so that way I could bring the fun into the relationship.

It's all pretty crazy, I admit it. Tonite I work. With
Casteel. He is supposedly all into me. But Loni told me
that he isn't worth it, that he's just trouble. Which I
believe to be true. He is nineteen and married in Mexico to
a fifteen year old. How stupid is that! So like he told me
he'd leave her for me. I know he won't, so I am just
ignoring him now. I want Charlie. I always have.

I need him in my life so much. Just to hug me and kiss me
once in a blue moon. I don't need him to make love to. I
already agreed that that would end. Hmmm...I hate
this class. It's so boring. Um...oh yea I'm going to see
Mule tomorrow. He's wicked fun. But supposedly CaveBoy is
going to teach me to drive standard before I go out with

I just want to see Charlie. That's all. I want to feel his
heart beating along with mine. We've felt that before. It's
so sweet. I am just waiting for Saturday to go out with
Veni and my clique. I wish it were sooner arrived. Too many
payments to make with this pay check on Friday. I am
sending in Charlie's subscription to Penthouse. Yea
I love him. I'd rather him look at chics he can't have than
actual possibilities. Gots to go.
Love always,