sweetaddiction

i cant sleep again. i fucking..

i cant sleep again.
i fucking cant do this shit anymore.
i need her.
i NEED her.

i havent slept in a long time.

and something is wrong..
something is just off.
i dont know what yet.
but its not good.
it was around like 7 that something got bad.
and i dont know what it is...i hate not knowning. i need
control. lol. lalalaa i need sleep. i need comfort somehow.
i need something. something is SO wrong right now. yes. yes
something is wrong.

i talked to shaun today...its amazing. everytime things get
really bad. he just shows up. and then its a little better.
i am so in love with him. he is the most beautiful
person...i swear like. i would LIKE to die for him. not
just a like, i WOULD die for him kind of thing. i would be
so more than willing to. i would fucking do anything for
him. i wish that there was some way i could make all his
pain go away. someway i could make it so he had the most
amazing happy filled life. he is so beautiful.
yeah im going to go lay in my bed now and stare at the
ceiling. because thats what most people do at 2 30 in the
morning. right. yeah. fucking whatever. im in a bad mood
again.

you know...
the majority of my life.
i was just living for him.
i never really thought about that before.
hm.