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2002-09-10 04:28:20 (UTC)


i thought i could trust her. she hasn't told me the whole
story... how can i tell her anything? she told katie what
happened... if you can even call it anything... it's
rediculous. katie is convinced that i want bo all of a
sudden because they are together... because i am
jealous... and that i just want to steal back my best
friend. that's not true at all. that is so ignorant it angers
me. i have liked bo for the longest time... i
have not ever been able to admit it... that's all... i thought
katie was out of the picture here... this is all too weird... i
hate fighting with people... i am just so hurt that she told
someone... katie of all people... who, duh, i have been
fighting with anyhow... and of course will think the worst
because somehow she's got bo wrapped around her

lauren let me know last night that bo was not telling me
all the truth... this hurts because it came from lauren not
bo... perhaps i should discover where my trust shall lie.
apparently bo only chose to tell me the worst things
about katie... i don't like her as it is... this just influenced
that more... i would ask how they were... bo told me they
were just friends... no commitment... i was under the
influence that she was long out of the picture...
apparently that too was a lie.

it's not even that i care so much anymore... the tears
have stopped i have already ignored it... i just don't
know where to go from here... i want so much to talk to
bo... but there is a huge trust issue... i cannot stay mad
at her it bothers me too much, and i must be there for
her. i have decided to ignore and deny anything i may
feel... above everything i have ever said... i want for
amanda to be happy... i guess katie makes her happy...
then so be it...

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