My Reality
Ad 2:
2002-09-09 23:19:38 (UTC)

Friends suck

yep i said it, my friends suck and i want new ones, i am
tired of all of them i am so depressed i hate being at
school its a waste of time and money and effort and the
only thing i was looking forward to was my firends, but now
they just suck, they are so self involved and so full of
themselves that they cant see how meaningless their lives
are how immmature they are and how absolutely silly they
look. i mean to them their lives might be fun and exciting
but i see it as lame irresponsible and out and out
pointless. i always try and go and do things that they want
me to and when i have an idea or a want i they dont give a
damn. i always try to find time for them but fuck it when
it comes to me. they are just to busy so fucking stupid and
you know what if thats how they want to be then fine fuck
all of you. i am so god damn tired of being a good friend
bc it is kicking my ass. i try my best to bend myself to
do things that they want to do but they dont give a damn
when it comes to things that i care about and it doesnt
matter at all. how can you be that oblivious to someones
feelings that you just ignore everything about them.. i am
so god damn tired of this little kid shit. i cant wait
till this semester is over so i can figure out what the
hell i am going to do. i know what i want i just dont know
where i can do it. my plan for a short time was to go be
with "J" but i dont really think he wants that so now i
have to find another place to be. i just want to be in my
own apartment have a real job and go to cosmetology school,
well yeah i want to be with "J" also but that i have no
control over thats kinda his call so that one is pretty
much in a constant state of up in the air, but thats all i
want. i am tired of feeling shitty bc i dont party and
feeling shitty bc i dont like making a fool out of myself
in public. i really just want to be with "J" i want to be
in a relationship and i want to make him happy. i know that
sounds really stupid. but i want to make his life easier
and that would make me happy. i would be really really
relly content with living by myself and job and what not,
but getting "J" would just complete the package. maybe i
am just hopeless. maybe it wont happen. but living with
the idea of a possiblity between us is all i've got right
now. that idea is whats keeping me from having a total
nervous breakdown. god damn it, these ppl just suck. i
hate it here so much, why cant i just go for what i want
once in my life?