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2001-07-21 17:17:42 (UTC)

i just want to go to sleep. and..

i just want to go to sleep.
and i cant.
thats all i want to do right now
if im awake then ill miss you
but when im asleep
i cant think.
and that makes everything
a lot easier.
the reason isnt the problem.
i know why.
i just cant deal with the reaction.
well, i AM dealing.
i HAVE to deal.
im just not doing it very well.
and things are changing again.
im questioning your feelings.
and i wonder if you are too.
im questioning my involvment in this.
my nakedness.
which leaves me so open.
im prone to pain now..
i just want you to write me.
thats all i want.
i just want you to write me and say that everything is cool
and that you love me and youll talk to me soon
i didnt fuck her.
III didnt fuck her.

im sad.
and there so much to pay attention to here
and i just cant stop thinking about you.
i got my period today.
maybe ill get a new tattoo tonight.
or get another piercing or something.
that always seems to calm me down in a way.
slap me back into reality.

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